Surviving the Climb

Dylan Simpson

Professor Foree

Composition 1 1301

16 September 2016

Surviving the Climb

        Trust is typically something you’re born with, you’re innocent and untouched to this world. You can trust yourself, your parents, and your friends. But the actions of everyone can make you lose or gain trust. If someone’s constantly lying to you, eventually you stop taking their word because you don’t know if it’s the truth or not. Being hurt and offended is the easiest way to feel betrayal and it’s the hardest to come back and trust anyone again. I’ve learned throughout a long 7 months how to learn to trust anyone after being constantly lied to, constantly hurt, and constantly cheated on. I have never felt so much betrayal then when I found out the boy I had been dating all throughout high school hadn’t been loyal to me for the past year and a half.

        I thought he and I were invisible and happy, but in the end it was just all one big, idiotic lie. The day I found out about him and his other woman was probably one of the hardest days I’ve ever had, but in the end the most rewarding. A February morning in 2015 I woke up to an anonymous number texting me, to this day I have no clue who they are. They sent me screenshots of my boyfriend’s message with someone named Amanda. Once I read all of the “I can’t want to be able to call you mine one day,” and the “don’t worry about her, I’ll make sure I end it with her soon. I know it’s been a year now but it will be worth the wait,” my heart seemed to drop to my stomach, yet it wasn’t enough for me to realize what was happening. I asked the anonymous texter if there was proof that this was actually them. They responded, not with words but with pictures of them at parties that I didn’t know about, with all my best friends around them no one seemed to want to mention any of this to me. I had to find out from someone I had no clue who they were. I had all this information, that I still didn’t quite believe and could only believe until I saw his face knowing that I know his lies.

        “Can I come over?” I asked him after he had texted me good morning.

        “Of course babe, just come over in 30 minutes so I can get dressed.”

I got ready for the most overwhelming situation I have ever felt myself go through. I drove over there, he opened the door for me like any other day but this time it could be the last. I didn’t know what to say, how to ask, my stomach twirled while my palms were sweating. I went in the restroom to just think and tell myself I can do this and it’s now or never, When I walked back in I asked him with 5 simple words that seemed to choke out of my mouth. “Did you cheat on me?” I could see the fear in his eyes, yet he still seemed to manage to lie straight to my face. I pulled out my phone, read the messages showed him the pictures, and he just began to cry because he knew his secret had been blown. I grabbed my keys and walked out not looking back as a tear rolled down my face and I could hear him saying, “Dylan stop, I love you and I regret every minute I took you for granted,” but I had to be stronger than I ever had to be and just keep walking.

        I thanked the anonymous texter who still refuses to let me know who they are. I still occasionally get the average ‘I miss you and I’m sorry text” from my ex who is still with the other woman. But to me, that’s not the problem anymore. I lost friendships, best friends, and my boyfriend all in one occasion. My friends covered for him as if it was helping me in the long run. They lied to me, which almost seemed worse than what he had done to me. I never could understand how you can look at someone and know the awful truth behind someone she thought was her world and just not tell her. I had lost all trust that my so called friends had my back. That my so called friends would tell me the truth next time and help me out when something bad was happening. All I could think of was what else were they not telling me? But the other half of me was so ticked off at boys in general. How do you waste someone’s time, love, and entire high school dating experience on someone you physically used just to ‘have fun’ with? It was a hard, not impossible, next 7 months learning to trust again.

        The first two months were so lonely. My “friends” tried to say hi to me in the hall, but I just walked away. My ex knew he shouldn’t even try because there was no fixing what had happened. But, I couldn’t continue to just live alone and not tell anyone how I felt. Everything seemed to almost explode within me. Until this guy named Austin came up to me at lunch, where I was sitting alone, and asked if I would go sit with him at his table. So I did. We all became close and they showed me who real friends are. They taught me that not everyone is cruel. It took 5 months to realize that not everyone is immature and can’t handle telling you the truth. These group of guys shared their secrets with me, and eventually I could tell them mine. To this day, they haven’t told a soul. Austin is still my best friend and continues to help me grow my trust with other people. Making friends seemed easier said than done, but trusting someone to have my heart again was like climbing up Mount Everest. I had to go down sometimes just so I could go further up than I was before and survive.