College Essay

My parents are officers in The Salvation Army, so I grew up knowing about God. But as a young girl I had a ‘borrowed faith’ from my parents. I had never really thought about a personal relationship with the Lord and I hadn’t accepted him into my heart. Then, when I was about twelve years old, I attended a youth summer camp at The Salvation Army Camp Mihaska. It occurred to me that I didn’t really know God personally and that scared me. I had thought for so long that just believing in him and going to church would be enough. So that week at camp I accepted Jesus into my heart and for the first time I had my own faith.

Growing and maturing in my walk with the Lord has proven to be very tough. Many times I have questioned whether or not He was really with me and helping me. One time in particular was in 2004 when my parents decided to move from Illinois to Virginia. They told me that God was opening some windows and they felt they were being called to work at National Headquarters for The Salvation Army in Alexandria, Virginia. I was angry and upset that they wanted to pull me out of the only home and school I had ever known. I was angry with God for calling them to that position. I wondered that if God was supposed to be taking care of me and watching out for me then why would He cause me so much pain and misery.

I continued to feel this way even after we moved. I told myself from the beginning that I wasn’t going to like anything and I wouldn’t get along with anyone. My usual outgoing and bubbly personality turned cold and reserved. I started to not like church and I wouldn’t talk about God or the battle inside of me with anyone. I felt abandoned and alone, yet I wouldn’t let anyone in. I was like this for nearly two years.

Then last year I gave in to the constant pounding on my heart to listen. I broke down and confessed all of my doubts and fears to God, and for the first time in a long time I felt like I was being heard. I spent an entire night reading my bible and praying. I realized that God wasn’t tearing me away from my friends and life in Illinois; He was opening doors and giving me