Compare 3 Works Using Affect

“He released her and she moved upward to lie on top of him, resting her head on his shoulder. She spoke dreamily. “I would do anything with you.”

“You would not. You would be disgusted.”

“Disgusted by what?”

“You would be disgusted if I even told you.”

She rolled away from him. “It’s probably nothing.”

“Have you ever been pissed on?”

He gloated as he felt her body tighten.

“No.”

“Well, that’s what I want to do to you.”

“On your grandmother’s rug?”

“I wand you to drink it. If and go on the rug, you’d clean it up.”

“Oh.”

“I knew you’d be shocked.”

“So? That isn’t any good to me.”

In fast, she was shocked. Then she was humiliated, and not in the way she had planned. Her seductive puffball cloud deflated with a flaccid hiss, leaving two drunken, bad-tempered, incompetent, malodorous people blinking and uncomfortable on its remains. She stared at the ugly roses with their heads collapsed in a dead wilt and slowly saw what a jerk she’d been. Then she got mad.”

This passage is taken from Mary Gaitskill’s short story A Romantic Weekend. I chose this passage in particular because of the physical effects that it had on me as the reader. This dialogue between the two main characters offers so many different emotions in a very short period of time. The first line here starts with “he released her” which shows, first of all, that he was constraining her prior to the release and secondly, the release itself. There must have been at least a slight change in his temperament to transition from one action to the next from victimizing her to setting her free. As an audience to this action the readers join in her new freedom with a sigh of relief. This relief, however, is short lived in both the character and the reader. But not before a new emotion is brought into the picture.

After being released from his hold, rather than seeking escape from the situation, the woman proceeds to rest her head on this man’s shoulder and speak to him “dreamily”. As a reader, one can’t help but feeling a sense of both pity and embarrassment over this woman’s behavior. “I would do anything for you” she says. Especially as a woman reader it saddens me to know that there are women out there that are truly willing to completely put themselves in the hands of a man, or woman I suppose, despite the torturous reality of the situation.

The affects humiliation and disgust which dominate most of the story and are introduced to this passage immediately following this unusual moment of gentleness between characters. The man in the story lets his sadistic side show in full force when he openly admits that what he wants her to do is disgusting. At this point, as a reader, I was both anxious and skeptical to continue reading. As the dialogue continues, he asks her if he can piss on her. Quite possibly the most involved and connected I ever felt with the characters in this story followed. “He gloated as he felt her body tighten” at the very same moment that I, myself, felt my own body tighten in disgust.

I was surprised to read the woman’s reaction to this degrading proposition. “On your grandmother’s rug?” she asked. Through the language of the narration we are aware that the woman is greatly discomforted by this suggestion but rather than stating that she almost changes the subject in what seems like an effort to give him the opportunity to withdraw the proposal on his own. Although she won’t admit her surprise and uneasiness to the man she is fully aware of it internally. This discovery led me, as the reader, to both lose respect for her and also to question myself.

I began to wonder if there are times in my life where I feel a certain way, without any question in my mind, but was too embarrassed or shy or determined to please someone else that I kept quiet. I’ve thought about the past and all the times that I have wanted to stand up for something, maybe myself, but didn’t out of fear and/or anxiety of the reactions it might get. It brought me to the conclusion that doing, or not doing in this case, something simply as a way to blend in with the crowd is not only emotionally unhealthy but could be physically and psychologically damaging.

“I mean can I find a place that’s near the ocean?”

“I