English Is So, Like...Ummm...The Shit

There is a nutria loose in the Enlgish language and it is rapidly devouring words and phrases. The corrosive usage of slang is deteriorating proper, or standard forms of English. What most consider to be a passing fad has been evident for as long as the English language. Change in the grammar and diction of a language is natural, and English is always confronted with changes. However, at some point speech mutated due to a metastratizing principle in which the most annoying words in the language colonize the host organism's brain and bully out less adaptable words which eventually fade into oblivion. It can be generalized that youths overuse slang terminology and most can vouch that annoyance is an understatement. It may have begun innocently enough with the utterance of "like", but the interjection is, like, so rapant it is like a disease. Several words and phrases are on the endangerment language list due to the atrocious attack of "like". Words and phrases such as really, including, said, the following, such as, and regarding are becoming

less prominent in speech and literature. How often, when told a story, do you hear, "My teacher was like, 'Your repetative use of "like" is rather irritating?'" rather than "My teacher said, 'Your repetative use of "like" is rather irritating.'"? Past tense is now nonexistent and remaining is the pea brained characterization of any event, any shade of meaning, past, present, or future, relevant

or irrelevant as "like". Often we speak fast, our mouths moving too rapidly for our brains. The result? The utterance of such words and phrases as you know, ummm, uhhh, hmm, so and eh. 'You know' has become a common phrase in the English language. Often you can readily expect a sentence to include the expression in such context as, "When I saw my essay mark I was disappointed you know? Not only did I put my effort into writing it, but time you know?" No, I apologize, I do not know. Perhaps if you were to take the time to think through what you wish to say and explain it in relative depth, I will. Now, in the vicious fight with "like" such words as umm, uhh, and hmm are beating the English language to the ground. Is it better to hear someone say "I'm like writing a like paper on the like English language" rather than "I'm...ummm...writing a...uhh...paper on the...hmm...English