First Date

A man and a woman are on their first date at a reasonably priced restaurant. The date appears to be going well from both perspectives. The atmosphere is adequate, and the conversation is good. The waiter comes by the couple’s table and puts the bill in the center, and then the man proceeds to ask for separate checks. The waiter takes the bill and leaves to split the payments. The man’s date looks at him with a grimace on her face.

“Is something wrong?”

“Well, you aren’t paying for my half of the bill. That seems a little cheap. Don’t you

think?”

“You’re suggesting that you don’t have to pay for anything, and you’re saying that I’m

the cheap one.”

“I would have paid for something somewhere down the road. I’m not some kind of gold digger that is just out to spend your money”

“Well now seems like a perfect time to prove it to me”

“Actually, now seems like a perfect time to call it a night”

When the first date comes around, who should do the paying? I have always felt that each person should pay their own way. This is coming from more of a logical standpoint, however. I have noticed that most of the women are arguing from an emotional standpoint. Comments are made about “true gentlemen,” “feeling special” or something similar. Conversely, women are still struggling to gain the same equality that everyone deserves. Voting rights, equal pay, and several other opportunities have been and still are disputed, but suddenly women feel this need to have this particular special privilege with essentially no logical backing to it.

The most commonly accepted practice for the first date is that “he or she that asks for the date is the one that is expected to pay. So next time a woman calls you on Friday night hinting around about going out for a drink, or to see a movie or show, make sure you ask her if she is intending to pay or if she is expecting you to pay for the evening’s entertainment!”(askheartbeat) This is a blatant cop-out because men still do the bulk of the asking. It also begs the question of whether or not there will even be a next time. This is one part of our society that is still reluctant to evolve. From a more traditional standpoint men were expected to be the ones that made the most money and his particular roles in the household involved being the provider. However, this was also during a time when women’s rights were very few. It was not until 1920 that women were given voting rights(wiki), and the feminist movement was only as far back as the 1960s. These days, are vastly different. Women have the same opportunities as men and are very capable of making as much if not more money. The first date is normally meant to get to know each other better. However, the simply because the man had the gumption to ask the woman out, he already owes her something, so at the end of the date, she basically paid with her presence while he paid with his wallet. A survey of 200 singles found that 80% of women expect their dates to pay and 92% of men said that they would pay. (thestar.com) This is despite the fact that she agreed to go on the date and therefore is also making an effort to form some sort of a relationship. The man paying also brings up a sense that the woman owes him something in return because of his graciousness. If she pays for her portion of the bill, it helps to reduce any sort of obligation.

I have a few personal thoughts on this whole situation. There are many women think poorly of men that are not willing to pay for them on the first date. What this translates to me into a few things. Firstly, the woman is simply using this common practice as a way to get a free meal at the expense of spending time with a guy that she is not particularly interested in. After the date is over, she moves on with her life, and he has wasted his time and his money. Secondly, the whole idea that he “has” to pay for dinner suggests that her affections have to be bought. This idea conflicts with what women generally stand for, but it is not something that they are willing to dispute.