Gender and Identity in Raymond Carver’s So Much Water, So Close to Home

Men are from Mars, women are from Venus. We’ve all heard the saying, but what does it mean? We are different, that goes without saying. As evidenced in Raymond Carver’s “So Much Water, So Close to Home”, men and women differ on many key issues of morality, perception, and judgment. The two do have something in common, believe it or not, and that is the expectation of the opposite gender to communicate, think, and react in the exact way they do. Hence, frustration. Not with themselves, God forbid the two ever see a situation from each other’s point of view. The frustration is with the opposite gender, over something that for the most part, they cannot help. As we have seen time and time again and as Carver proves, it’s in our blood.

What does it mean to be a man? In “So Much Water, So Close to Home”, the men are portrayed as egocentric, insensitive, pleasure seeking hounds. In terms of their morality, they are limited. As the men arrive at their campsite, before they even begin to set up camp, one of them finds the dead body of a young woman in the river. Any thoughts they may have had about the woman’s family and how worried about her they must be are quickly washed away by thoughts of their own fatigue. The men reach deep into their bag of morals and pull out the best solution they can think of; they tie her to a tree and feel better that she “wasn’t going anywhere”. In this part of the story, Carver seems to be making a clear statement about the morality and good judgment of men, or lack thereof. The men in the story are described as average, decent men and as such, they are examples of other men. Their lack of concern for other people in need of help shows their insensitivity towards the girl and in terms of all men, towards other people. To care for the needs of other people besides those of themselves and perhaps a spouse and/or several close family members is seen as an unnecessary hassle, and is to be avoided. It may be that many men see this ability to show sympathy and sensitivity as a weakness. Does this mean that all men are this way? The simple answer is no. Men as a whole are known to be less compassionate and sensitive than women. The example used in the story is of course an extreme case- in reality even the most masculine of characters would not likely leave a dead body in the river close by for days and even wash their dishes next to it without calling on the proper authorities to help.

What does it mean to be a woman? In “So Much Water, So Close to Home”, the narrator Claire is portrayed as an average woman. She has a hard working husband and a young son. All of the women in the story, excluding the dead one, are shown as very compassionate people. They are sensitive and caring to the needs of other people, even to those they do not personally know. When Claire’s husband Stuart returns home from his annual fishing trip, he tells her about how he and his friends found the woman’s body in the river. Not before having a cold beer, sex with Claire, and a good night’s sleep, however. Claire cannot comprehend how in the world her husband could have done this. The fact that Stuart had found a body and waited several days to report it is bad enough, but for him to come home and carry on as if it had never happened is unimaginable to Claire. She even considers the possibility that it was her husband who raped and killed the innocent young woman.