Gorilla Stabbing

Erica Syptak

English 2307

Professor Oaks

April 5, 2015

Gorilla Stabbing

        One morning, I stabbed a gorilla in my pajamas. How he got into my pajamas I will never know. When I first saw him I was so startled that I started a conversation with him.

I asked while shaking, “How did you get in my house and why are you in my pajamas?”

He was nodding and shaking his head like he understood what I was saying or that he was agreeing and or disagreeing with me. The gorilla continued to stare at me for awhile while eating my bacon and bananas. When he was finished with my breakfast there was nothing left for him to eat. He then started to come at me by the refrigerator, so I stabbed him with a kitchen knife, because I was frightened. He fell down with a loud thud.

I was so scared and confused. I didn’t know why there was a gorilla in my house. I looked all over my house trying to see how he got in. I called my best friend from work (Kyliee) to see if she could come over to my house to help me get rid of the gorilla.

She first didn’t believe me, then she laughed a little, and then she responded to me, “Are you crazy?”

After a couple of minutes she told me that she was on her way and would be there in a little bit.

The door bell rang, I thought it was Kyliee so I open the door and it was not Kyliee it was another gorilla but Kyliee was behind the gorilla. She said without the gorilla hearing her, “Keep that gorilla attention.”

I nodded my head and I was having an awesome conversation with that gorilla. Kyliee went back to her car and got a baseball bat then came up quietly behind the gorilla and knocked him over the head with the baseball bat.

Then she asked me, “Is that the gorilla you stabbed?”

I answered, “No that one is in the kitchen.”

She responded, “Oh Ok, Where did this one come from?”

Then I let Kyliee in to see the first gorilla that I stabbed.

She asked me a question like I should know the answer, “How and why is there a gorilla in your house and in your pajamas?”

        While standing by the table, I answered her, “I don’t know how he got in. I was trying to figure that out before you arrived and as we speak.”

I was so scared I might get in trouble for this. I asked her, “Do you know what we can do with this gorilla before my parents or brother (Jeffrey) comes home?”

She responded, “Maybe we should call animal control”.

I answer, “Ok, but after we call animal control we have to delete the number off the phone so that my parents won’t ask me why did you call animal control?”

She responded, “Ok we can do that.”

So Kyliee looked up the number of the Houston animal control so I can call the place. She gave me the number and I started to call them.

Someone answered on the other side of the phone saying, “Hi my name is Joe and I worked in a chocolate factory”

I answered, “I thought this is the Houston animal control?”

He answered, “This is the Houston animal control. I was singing my name and I used to work in a chocolate factory.”

I responded, “Oh cool.”

“Is there a problem that I can help you with or direct your call too?” asked Joe.

“Yes there is a big, I mean a HUGE problem that you can help me with” I answered.

I told Joe about the gorilla. While I was on the phone with Joe from animal control. Joe asked me “Is that gorilla in the kitchen dead or alive?” Kyliee went into the kitchen to see if that gorilla was alive or dead. That gorilla was gone before Kyliee got to the kitchen to see if it was alive or dead. Kyliee was surprised and yelling my name out loud.

“ERICA come here the gorilla is gone.” Kyliee saying with a surprised look on her face.

“What!!” I said.

I told Joe “Can you hold on my friend is yelling my name from the kitchen.”

He said, “Ok, I will be here.”

I responded, “OK.”

Joe was there when I needed him. I went to the kitchen where Kyliee was at and she was confused and speechless. I looked down and I was shocked and yelled “OH MY GOD!!”

Joe answered, “What happen?”

I said while studding, “The the gggoorrilla is is gone.”

Joe responded acting surprise, “What? For real?”

I responded, “Uuumm Yes!”

Joe responded “How can that be? I thought you told me you stabbed him.”