How to Procrastinate

How to Procrastinate

Have you ever heard friends or family members brag about how productive they were that day, or week, or month? Those people really bother me. And it's because I can never get anything done; it takes me a long time to accomplish the simplest tasks. I pride myself in being a grade A procrastinator. My three specific examples will help anyone perfect the arts of wasting time and procrastination. Then you can brag about how extremely unproductive you were today.

What does procrastination mean? Is it the stereotypical meaning of laziness? And this word, “procrastinate” has over time become derogatory and insulting. It has also been applied to the newest generation of the world. I have heard many comments from older folks that, “those teenagers are so lazy, they wait till the last minute to do anything.” But as Dennis Sell comments in the teenager’s defense, “It isn’t procrastination if you intend to do it.” I hope that this doesn’t become a question on the future resume. “Do you procrastinate, please check yes or no.” A wonderful lot of people would be out of the job; very talented people that just have a time trying to become “perfect.” Procrastination is a way of life and a person has to be good at it to play the “lazy” game.

What does procrastination really mean? I’ve adopted a quote that now guides my everyday life; “My work is best when I am under pressure.” Most of my better essays are written in the ten minutes I have before my next class period when it’s due. Sorry Mr. Williamson and Mrs. Cullipher, and any other teacher that have been subjected to my messy rushed handwriting (not that Mrs. Cullipher minds, I’m still failing her class. And her e-mail address is… just kidding). Procrastination is character building. The rare few who can handle the pressure often have rushed lives, or many deadlines, whichever applies, but the point is that they can handle the pressure that procrastination gives and they come on top. My father designs computer boards and his superiors are often changing what they want the board to do, but my dad can handle those people and their strict deadlines that are ludicrous because of the little time given. But because he procrastinated in high school, he knows what to do and how to control himself in these situations. He hasn’t thrown himself off a cliff yet after about ten years of the strenuous work, that has to count for something.

I am not a super messy person, but I don't necessarily keep my room clean all the time either. Many a time I have opted to put away my clothes, clean out my binder and my backpack, make my lunch for the next day, and/or take a shower before I get to my homework. Doing all these activities takes a while, and I usually end up doing all of them on nights when I have a lot of homework, or if I have a test the next day. Any type of cleaning or household chore would work, though, such as scrubbing the shower, vacuuming, or dusting.

Another great way to waste time is to daydream. I can sit for fifteen minutes or more before I realize that I should be doing something else. I usually think about something that happened that day, and then imagine an alternate ending. Or I will imagine calling someone on the phone, and play out the entire conversation in my head. Sometimes I look out the window and look at all the trees, clouds, squirrels, or even the grass in my backyard. This is a great procrastination method when combined with a simple cleaning task, like cleaning out a backpack.

The best way to procrastinate is to interact