Sentence Variety

Sentence Variety

For short, choppy sentences

1. Coordination:

and, but, or, nor, yet, for, so

Join complete sentences, clauses, and phrases with coordinators:

example: Doonesbury cartoons satirize contemporary politics. The victims of political corruption pay no attention. They prefer to demand that newspapers not carry the strip.

revision: Doonesbury cartoons laugh at contemporary politicians, but the victims of political corruption pay no attention and prefer to demand that newspapers not carry the strip.

2. Subordination:

after, although, as, as if, because, before, even if, even though, if, if only, rather than, since, that, though, unless, until, when, where, whereas, wherever, whether, which, while

Link two related sentences to each other so that one carries the main idea and the other is no longer a complete sentence (subordination). Use connectors such as the ones listed above to show the relationship.

example: The campus parking problem is getting worse. The university is not building any new garages.

revision: The campus parking problem is getting worse because the university is not building any new garages.

example: The US has been overly dependent on foreign oil for many years. Alternate sources of energy are only now being sought.

revision: Although the US has been overly dependent on foreign oil for many years, alternate sources are only now being sought.

Notice in these examples that the location of the clause beginning with the dependent marker (the connector word) is flexible. This flexibility can be useful in creating varied rhythmic patterns over the course of a paragraph. See the section below called "For the same pattern or rhythm in a series of sentences."

For the same subject or topic repeated in consecutive sentences

1. Relative pronouns

which, who, whoever, whom, that, whose

Embed one sentence inside the other using a clause starting with one of the relative pronouns listed above.

example: Indiana used to be mainly an agricultural state. It has recently attracted more industry.

revision: Indiana, which used to be mainly an agricultural state, has recently attracted more industry.

example: One of the cameras was not packed very well. It was damaged during the move.

revision: The camera that was not packed very well was damaged during the move.

example: The experiment failed because of Murphy's Law. This law states that if something can go wrong, it will.

revision: The experiment failed because of Murphy's Law, which states that if something can go wrong, it will.

example: Doctor Ramirez specializes in sports medicine. She helped my cousin recover from a basketball injury.

revision 1: Doctor Ramirez, who specializes in sports medicine, helped my cousin recover from a basketball injury.

revision 2: Doctor Ramirez, whose specialty is sports medicine, helped my cousin recover from a basketball injury.

2. Participles

Present participles end in -ing, for example: speaking, carrying, wearing, dreaming.

Past participles usually end in -ed, -en, -d, -n, or -t but can be irregular, for example: worried, eaten, saved, seen, dealt, taught.

Eliminate a be verb (am, is, was, were, are) and substitute a participle.

example: Wei Xie was surprised to get a phone call from his sister. He was happy to hear her voice again.

revision 1: Wei Xie, surprised to get a phone call from his sister, was happy to hear her voice again.

revision 2: Surprised to get a phone call from her, Wei Xie was happy to hear his sister's voice again.

3. Prepositions

about, above, across, after, against, along, among, around, as, behind, below, beneath, beside, between, by, despite, down, during, except, for, from, in, inside, near, next to, of, off, on, out, over, past, to, under, until, up, with