Thesis

We have come a long way since human beings first crawled out of caves.

Reading this statement makes it very difficult to determine what the core subject of this thesis is. “We have come a long way…” can be considered to be the subject, but how have we come a long way? This statement proposes too many questions which are essential questions to be answered in a thesis. Another problem that will arise with using such an ambiguous thesis statement is an essay lacking in proper thematic structure.

Although the statement itself is brief enough to be held in the mind while writing a paper, the subject of this thesis is very broad. It does not answer the five basic questions which would help limit the subject to a more specific focus.

Who? Who is “We”?

What aspects? What aspects of “us” have come a long way?

Where? Where have “we” come a long way? (In Canada? England? Africa?)

When? When did human beings first crawl out of caves?

How? How have “we” come a long way?

Even though the claim could be proven, it would be very difficult to do research on such a topic considering that the subject of interest is so widespread. The subject of this thesis is very ambitious, it is so ambitious the it would definitely be a challenge to prove this statement in the time and space typically available for an essay.

Taken as a whole, I would definitely label this thesis statement as a weak statement.

I would re-write this thesis statement as follows:

Canadians have come a long way with our cutting edge technology since 1876, when Alexander Graham Bell invented his telephone.

Princess Diana was murdered by the Royal Family.

This thesis statement is very unclear. The Royal Family as a whole is being accused of murdering Diana in this thesis; it does not specify who took part in the murder. This statement also leaves out many critical questions that should be answered in a thesis, such as: What had caused the murder to take place to begin with? Where had the murder taken place? When had taken place? and also How did it take place? Leaving this statement to be a very broad one indeed.

As a claim, this statement would be very difficult to prove. It would be difficult to research such a subject with a limited amount of time and resources. This claim is definitely ambitious, but it is so ambitious that its promises could not be fulfilled in the time and space typically available for an essay.

The question of whether this thesis statement is true or not, would have a major impact not only in the U.K. but internationally as well. Princess Diana was well-know all over the world for her great contributions and high stature. She was a well respected figure in society. The Royal Family is also known for its high stature, therefore this statement would certainly create some controversy.

In conclusion, this thesis statement is weak in nature due to its broad prospect.

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