Accepting the Exception

Femininity refers to qualities and behaviors judged by a particular culture to be ideally associated with or especially appropriate to women and girls. It is most often associated with nurturing, life-giving qualities, creativity and openness to those around. It was once forbidden for a man to possess these qualities. Fortunately, people are becoming more open minded and beginning to accept what has previously been the exception. But still, for some, femininity in men is not as acceptable as masculinity in women might be. For men who take on those undesirable traits, life can be much harder than for women who take on masculine traits. Although both are frowned upon, men with feminine characteristics may discourage us from looking to them as leaders of their households, to carry on the good family name, and there may be concerns that these feminine men may actually be gay.

For centuries, parents have doted upon their little boys, giving them whatever their hearts desired, and trying to raise them to become strong, assertive men. Even the fairytales we've read as children have had the King as ruler of the land. Typically, if there was not a King in charge, there was a Prince in line to take the throne. Well, reality is no fairytale, yet, even today, men are expected to carry on the family name with pride and honor. It is usually the eldest son who steps up and takes control once the father has passed on or relinquished his duties as head of the household. It then becomes the son's responsibility to keep the good name of his family. It may be hard for the family to respect a man who has a masculine deficiency. To most, there is nothing proud and honorable about a man who is lacking "mannish" qualities. We don't typically look to a "soft" man to be the head of the family. Nor do we accept predominant flamboyancy or genteel in men. Therefore, he may be overlooked because of his "girly" tendencies.

For as long as families have worshiped their young sons, they've also expected them to lead and protect the family. We praise our young sons and instill solid morals and values in them so that they may grow to have a family of their own and instill those same teachings in their sons so that, they too, may become leader of their family. But not every boy is the same. Not every boy wants to mature into a football playing, meat eating, loud talking, brute. Some of them prefer the softer approach to life. They go on to study ballet, teach, and perhaps, sing. For others,