Isolation - a Solution to Grief?

A sudden death of a dear one, or the loss of something that has great significance can lead to bereavement and grief. Grieving is a deep mental anguish that arises from remembrance of the loss of a loved one (Dictionary.com). Different people cope with grief in different ways. Isolation proves to be a helpful method of grieving for Tristan, because it helps him recognize his loss because of which he is able to readjust to his new world and thus reinvest in life again. Whereas, isolation of the father from his son in Losing Father’s Pocket Watch (Fraser) helps the persona’s father to recognize the loss but does not help him readjust to the situation, thereby destroying his relationship with his son.

Tristan is a “co-victim” (qtd by Clements et al.), a survivor of the trauma of Samuel’s death. Even though, the whole family is grieving for Samuel’s death, Tristan feels that the grief is unique to him and hence the path of grief for him is a lonely one. This affects him psychologically, emotionally and physically. The sudden death did not allow him to anticipate or prepare for the loss. This resulted in Tristan making impulsive decisions, which greatly affected him and his family. The persona’s father in Losing Father’s Pocketwatch (Fraser), is grieving the loss of his trust in his son which was symbolized by the pocket watch. The father is disappointed in his son and the he too, like Tristan, isolates himself from his son physically and emotionally.

Different people cope with grief differently. People’s responses to grief vary based on their age, cultural and religious backgrounds, past experiences with loss and the method that worked for coping with the grief. Tristan externalized his response to grief by going on a scalping spree. An externalized response is expressed by survivors of trauma, which consists of anger, outbursts and unstable mood (Clements et al.). He reacted this way because of the influence of One Stab’s cultural teachings. By this Tristan intellectually and physically isolated himself from the civilized world around him.

The persona’s father in Losing Father’s Pocketwatch grieves mentally by not talking to his son. He does this because he want to rethink and recognize what he has lost and is trying to avoid the pain that might be caused by discussing it with his son. He displays the “Don’t ask don’t tell” attitude (Clements et al.) which is typical of someone who has lost something suddenly. This isolates him emotionally from the son.

Tristan mentally isolates himself by not discussing the pain and sorrow of losing his brother with anyone. He too displays the “Don’t ask don’t tell” attitude (Clements et al.) because he feels that the pain is unique to him and no one will understand him. Physical Isolation has probably helped Tristan to cope with grief in his past and therefore he physically isolates himself again after Samuel’s death. He isolates himself physically to regain a sense of control in his life. Clement says that commitment to small short-term goals can provide a sense of accomplishment.

The father in Losing Father’s Pocketwatch (Fraser) externalizes his response to grief by displacing the anger on his son to the water. By saying “hopelessly kicking toward the hole” (Fraser 18) we know that the persona’s father realizes that he has lost his pocket watch which is symbolic of his trust in his son forever and will be difficult to replace. The persona uses adjectives like “cold terror” (Fraser 4) to describe his fear when he lost the watch and wishes that his father would “slap” (Fraser 16) him hard. This shows that he has an abusive relationship with his father but now he is punished even more when his father doesn’t talk to him and instead displaces the anger on his son with “sharp smacks”(Fraser 19) of strokes to the water.

The persona’s father grieves in this way because he knows it is very difficult to regain lost trust. Punishing his son physically might work for mistake that can be taken back. He does not abuse his son this time, because no matter what he does to his son he understands the reality that his