The Unexpected Blessing

Dayquina Davis

Professor Olejnik

ENGL 1301-044

30 August 2016

The Unexpected Blessing

        Ever since I could remember my mother has always told me that, “Blessings come in different shapes and forms; you just have to make the best out of what you have.” I knew what she meant by that, but the thought of her making me regret my blessing never crossed my mind. I had no idea how much my life was about to change after I found out I was pregnant. My mother never told me that my blessing could also be my downfall.

 Two years ago from today, I found myself in a complicated relationship with a person I thought would give me the world one day. I put up with other girls, other babies, and an overprotective mother that “just wanted the best” for her son. Since I was young and in love, I thought he would change and things would get better if I just kept trying to make him happy. I was wrong because things just kept getting worse by the day. “Why me?’ is all I could ask myself after so long. I did not know what I was doing so wrong to be treated like scum of the earth. His favorite line that kept me coming back every time was, “I love you and those other girls do not mean anything to me.”  Some of my friends would say he is not going to change while the others told me that things would get better. Since I felt that we loved each other so much I knew things would get better. To my disbelief, I was in for a rude awaking that I was not ready for.

 I prayed that things would get better between us, but enough was enough. Someone else could treat me much better than he treated me so I called it quits. Once I took my things and left; I was so heartbroken. I cried for weeks and my body slowly started to change. Since I had not been eating as much, my body was feeling different. My appetite finally came back, but it came back much more aggressive. I would throw up multiple times a day and I would usually sleep through every class in school. He would not answer any of my calls or text messages once we stopped dating so I never told him that it was a possibility that I was pregnant. We never really used protection since I was on birth control. My mother noticed that I was throwing up after I ate and that I would sleep all day. She finally asked, “Are you pregnant?” I simply walked away instead of giving her an answer.

It was going to be hard finding out I was pregnant, but I knew I could not wait any longer. My mother brought home a pregnancy test that next night and I could not avoid not taking the test any longer. I was so nervous about the results, so I just left the test in the bathroom on the sink and went to lay down. My mother found the test sitting on the sink and her reaction was priceless. “Get out my house and don’t come back. I am not about to be a grandmother and you should have known better. I can’t believe you were dumb enough to go out and get pregnant by somebody who didn’t even want you so we know he don’t want this baby,” she yelled at me. Tears began to form in my eyes and I just left. I called my grandmother and cried until I could not cry anymore. “Go back home, baby. Everything will be just fine. I will talk to your mother and things are going to get better, but you have to go home,” she cried into the phone. I decided to try to smooth things out with my mother, but she only wanted the worse for me.

“You are getting an abortion and that’s final” is all she said to me when I got back home. I knew she was just annoyed with my mistake and didn’t mean that. I started putting in extra hours at work because I knew that I had responsibilities now and someone else’s life was now in my hands. My dreams were crushed when my mother scheduled my appointment for the abortion. Without even acknowledging the father of my unborn child, I decided I would go through with the abortion. I did not think twice about it because I wanted my mother to love me as much as she loved me before. I wanted her to still look at me like I was her beautiful baby girl that was going to be somebody one day. After thinking about the decision I was about to make and thinking the process over, I changed my mind. This was my life and I could make my own decisions. I wanted to keep my baby and that is exactly what I did.

It was not easy going through half of my pregnancy all alone. I would cry every night because my mother wanted nothing to do with me since I was making a “grown up” decision and I was still a child myself. The father of my unborn child had nothing to do with me or the baby since I never told him about the pregnancy. He soon heard through the grapevine and decided to reach out to me. He wanted to make things work and be a happy family.  I was not up for his games and I did not want to be broken again so I listened to his sad story then just got up and left. I saw the hurt in his eyes, but I did not care because he never payed attention to any of the hurt in my eyes. He blew my phone up every day and even tried to come to a couple of doctor’s appointments, but I just did not want him around if he really did not want to be there. The pain is what made me push him away so much, but I knew he would end up being a great father, so I changed my mind about allowing him to come around.