Adopted Children

Not just the kids, but the adoptive parents also ask themselves questions: doubting their acceptance. A good question that comes to mind is whether or not; they can create a bound with the child. According to an adoption Corporation called “PACT”, no, they cannot bond with the adopted child. They feel, “Bounding is a one-way process that begins in the birth mother during pregnancy and continues through the first few days of life.” (1-2) It is instinctive so the bond can never be achieved, but hope lies in “attaching”. When you create an attachment between your child and you, it allows for the child to flourish. “Attachment is a two-way reciprocal process between parents and their children. (1-2) This process of attachment says a lot to a child. It is more than a friendship bond by allowing the child to put all of its trust within you. PACT wants us to know that, “It starts with a promise, a promise from parents to child that says, You count, and you can always rely on me.” (1-2) From this, a baby gains reliance, familiarity and the most important goal, which is that special attachment that should not be broken. It is also like a promise, which says a lot to the child. “From this promise will come the baby’s sense that the parents matter more than anyone else, leading to the baby’s reliance on them. (1-2)

Fear also steps in during this attachment stage, creating an obstacle of worries hard to get over. It is not just the question of whether you can attach t the baby but will the baby attach to you? The answer PACT gives us is to rely on your commitment to attach, regardless of time. Days, weeks, months or years may pass but what matters is you endurance. “If it takes time to feel that this child is your child, build on signs of progress. If it takes time for the baby to act as if you matter more than anyone else, enjoy interacting as connections grow.” (1-1) You will know if progress is occurring due to a number of signals that the child will withdraw. Smiles and developmental milestones are a clue that you are on the right track. (1-1)

Once a child who you feel attached to, doesn’t make the connection, it can make you as the parent feel left out. Adopted children also feel this way due to their other half who they feel is not connected to them. These siblings must go through a process in order to live together in sync. PACT says, “Adoption creates sibling pairs who invariably must decide what they mean to one another, work on their individual adoption issues, and sometimes be triggered by each other’s issues.” (2-1)

It is also up to the parent to soothe the rough and heal the scars of the relationship between the two siblings. Sibling differences can occur in order to prove a point to the adopted child that, they are just a piece of paper to the family, not blood related. “When differences between siblings revolve around adoption, parents can reinforce their belief that loving a child is not dependent upon them either being adopted or being born to them; that