Narrative Theory

The person never is the problem. The person has a problem.

A problem is something you have, not something you are. You don’t have to change your nature. You have to fight the influence of the problem on your life.

All of us need to select from the huge amount of information the world throws at us all the time. We need to organise what we see, hear, feel and remember into a meaningful ‘story’ or ‘picture’. This always introduces biases: we notice and remember things we find interesting, important, and in line with our beliefs, expectations and prejudices. We ignore, forget or play down things that are contrary to the way we see the world. So, things we notice and remember tend to confirm and strengthen our story about ourselves and our world.

This is fine for most people, because they live reasonably happily within their world. Problems arise when a person is stuck in a story that makes him/her, or others, unhappy. Examples are stories involving beliefs like:

• "I am a violent person, have a short fuse (and can’t help it)".

• "I am no good, useless, have no worth, no-one could possibly love me."

• "The world is a terribly dangerous place and I am helpless