Single Parent Families
Single Parent Families
Kristi Tompkins 4619868
American Public University
January 29th 2017
Assignment 4: Single-parent families can arise due to never-married parenthood, divorce, or death. How do you think these families are similar to each other, and how are they different?
Single parent families are increasing in number throughout America. Every family has their own unique situations that lead them to these circumstances. In 2014, only 46% of families were in a traditional setting. Traditional family settings are ones were parents are married to each other and live under the same roof. This percent was down from 73% in the 1960's. This is most likely due to the fact that parents are putting off marriage and in some cases foregoing it all together. People are also more at ease when it comes to divorce than they were a few decades ago which makes it a much more normal occurrence. (Livingston, 2014)
Though single parent families come from many different back stories, they often face the same struggles. The biggest struggle they may face would be their finances with a one-person income. Dependent on their circumstances, and if the other parent is contributing to their care, this may be easier for some but is still an issue for the parent who is running the household. In some cases there may be child support or life insurance in place to help supplement income, but this often times does not relieve all of the financial strain. For parents navigating the struggle of a one income household it is important to budget their spending carefully in order to keep the household afloat. For some this may mean telling their child no a great deal more than they were used to if the other parent used to be in the picture. One way to combat the negativity of this situation is to use it as a learning experience for the child. When you are able to teach them about finances you can combat the negative feelings they may have when they see a friend who is able to afford more than them (Murad, 2012).
Traditionally there are tasks fathers and mothers take on when having children of the same sex. For dads, this means teaching their son to be a gentleman and how to shave. For women, this may mean helping their daughter do their hair and nails or learn about their body when they start to experience puberty. In single parent homes the parent must sometimes leave their comfort zone in order to actively fill the role of mother and father. This can often times, be a difficult challenge. Being successful at this can greatly increase the child's wellbeing. In cases where the other parent is still in the picture this need may be minimal, while in cases where the parent has passed or is not around the parent must take up both roles 24/7. Sometimes it also may be feasible for grandparents or other relatives to take on a new role in the child's life that in many ways fulfills the role of the missing parent.
Sometimes the unique situations that lead to single parent homes come with it's own set of needs. Families where the family is split by divorce, or a parent has passed, often have their own grief that needs to be dealt with. In the case of divorce both parents are usually angry and hurting which needs to be dealt with at the same time as helping their child navigate this process. Being honest with them is the healthiest thing you can do. Once an agreement has been made explain to them how things will go in the future. For instance, tell them how often they will be seeing your Ex-Spouse. Be honest about the divorce, but also being age appropriate in the response and most importantly never bad mouth your spouse. (Wallace, 2013)
The most important thing to remember when dealing with the death of a spouse/parent is that you must first deal with the underlying grief before the family is able to settle into a new routine (Anderson, 2010). For many young children this may be even harder due to the fact that they may not truly understand the nature of death. When a parent is too upset to adequately care for their child's mental health needs, counseling is a good alternative. This is especially true because counselors can specialize in explaining death to children and helping them cope with it. This way a question that a parent may not know how to answer can be properly addressed in an age appropriate manner that the counselor deems suitable. Furthermore, it is always important to find a middle ground when dealing with your own grief in front of a child. Hiding your feelings from the child can cause them to believe that feelings are a private manner and should never be shared, while grieving too much and too openly can lead the child to become scared and uncomfortable with the situation.