Arranged Marriage: For America?

Arranged Marriage: For America?

Both arranged marriages and romantic marriages have good and bad points. Cultures such as India, Japan, and Ethiopia have had arranged marriages since the dawn of time. In America we allow our young adults to make their own decisions on whom to marry. Would Americans accept the practice of parents deciding whom they are going to marry without considering their wants or feelings? The answer is an emphatic NO! Americans are hopelessly romantic and fiercely believe in freedom of choice. Arranged marriages would never be accepted in American culture.

Most of the time, if not all, the decisions we make concerning marriage are based on the concept of “romantic love”. Most young people tend to believe the only way to choose a mate is to date until you fall madly in love, plan a wedding, and get married. We follow our hearts even if it is impractical and doesn’t really make any sense. We do not feel that we need the wisdom and experience of anyone, let alone our parents, to make such an important decision. Love is more important and powerful than practical issues. However, by relying on our hearts, and not the wisdom and experience of others, we risk what could be the disastrous consequences of making an emotional decision instead of a rational one.

Go back a few years (for some of us, many years) and think about how much stress we felt trying to make ourselves attractive to the opposite sex. We spent most of our days worrying about our looks and what we could do to change them to get “the look”. Were our clothes chic enough to be cool? Dating was awkward and time consuming. Think of all the time wasted concerning ourselves with the rules and necessities required to maintain a relationship - the effort involved in looking for the “right” someone to spend the rest of our lives with. Think of all the time that was wasted if they were the wrong person - the anguish endured while married to the wrong person. All that time, effort, and emotional stress could certainly have been put to better use by studying and preparing for the responsibilities of life. Our mating rituals seem flawed and risky compared to those cultures that practice arranged marriages.

For most young Americans, relationships are a part of everyday life. However, for the majority of Indians, they are only an afterthought. More attention is given to studies than the opposite sex. The practice of arranging marriages has both practical and cultural rationales. Marriages are meant to carry on a family’s status and secure the family’s financial future. Many Indians are not concerned that love is absent at the onset of marriage. They feel it will happen along the way. Love is not a major factor. Stability is the concern. Education and careers come first so there is not a lot of time for the opposite sex. Trust is put in the wisdom of parents who