Survivors of Suicide - the Grief Response in April Raintree

Survivors of Suicide:

The Grief Response in April Raintree

In the last two chapters of Beatrice Culleton’s novel, In Search of April Raintree, Culleton reveals the “grief response” experienced by April Raintree following the suicide death of her sister Cheryl. Culleton opens the door for readers by showing them what it’s like to be a suicide survivor. McIntosh defines suicide survivor as “an individual who remains alive following the suicide death of someone with whom they had a significant relationship or emotional bond” (McIntosh). It is estimated that every completed suicide leaves 6-8 survivors. Reading In Search of April Raintree is in fact a beneficial activity to add to a personal healing program for those coping with suicide or those supporting suicide-victims because of the way the novel helps people to relate to and understand the feelings and issues (grief response) experienced by April Raintree. Culleton showed readers that suicide survivors are not only initially impacted with feelings of shock and disbelief and a sense of loss, they are left with a legacy of guilt, anger and shame (Rubel 1).

Shock and disbelief mark the beginning of the grief response following the suicide death of a loved person. Witnessing the suicide or discovering the body of a loved one compounds the shock of the survivor. April did not witness the suicide or find the body of her sister Cheryl. This is evidenced by hearing of her sister’s fate from a bystander that witnessed Cheryl jumping to her death and by her own actions “I was looking down at the waters, looking for the body” (Culleton 190). April’s silent actions on top of the bridge demonstrate the shock and disbelief she must have felt at that moment in her life:

Now I watched, hoping that Cheryl was somewhere down there, alive. But I knew there was no hope. Not for Cheryl. Not anymore. I ached inside. I wanted to let loose with my tears. I felt like sobbing, screaming, wailing. But I just stood there, using the railing for support. Hiding the agony I felt. (Culleton 190)

Suicide survivors experience shock not only because the death has occurred but because it is unnatural. We expect and hope that a loved one experiences a full life and dies from old age, but we don’t expect a loved one to die by his or her own hand. To aid in the recovery of shock the survivor may then search for clues that caused their loved one to die.

As a survivor mourns, a sense of loss develops, leading to a desperate need to find a reason for the death. Survivors search for meaning in the loss; they search for an answer to the question “Why?” April concurs with this: “Roger did almost everything for me the next few days. I was mostly silent, pondering the why of Cheryl’s death.” (Culleton 192). Many survivors struggle alone in the search for meaning. This is evidenced by April’s action: “When it was all over, and Cheryl was buried, I knew it was time to return to the house, alone. Roger seemed to understand my need and drove me back. He didn’t come in with me.” (Culleton 193). April’s sense of loss for her beloved sister is compounded when she is home alone: ‘”Oh, Cheryl, why did you have to go and kill yourself? … You didn’t have to kill yourself, Cheryl! Why? Why?”’ (Culleton 194). As time goes on, survivors may come to accept the idea that there are no real answers to the question of why their loved one completed suicide; however, the clues they do find may lead to feelings of guilt and anger which is normal before healing can take place.

Survivors struggle with guilt and anger. Survivors search for someone or something to blame. Most often a survivor will blame one self saying “Why didn’t I see the signs?” or “I could have prevented it, but I didn’t. Why?” The first sign of April’s self guilt is apparent when she responds to Cheryl’s suicide: “But I just stood there, using the railing for support. Hiding the agony I felt. The agony of being too late, always too late.” (Culleton 190). April suggests that she could have in fact saved her sister’s life if only she had arrived in time to talk Cheryl out of it (jumping off the bridge). April’s guilt continues to haunt her as evidenced in her dream about Cheryl sinking into quicksand and refusing her sister’s help (Culleton 192). Survivors may also feel angry, this anger is most often directed