Analagy of a Poem

Leaving Home

Linda Pastan, the author of To a Daughter Leaving Home, uses the transition in childhood of learning to ride a bike as an analogy to the pain a parent feels when their child grows up and leaves home. There are many moments in this poem that show the stages of a child’s growth and separation from his or her parent. Learning to ride a bike parallels the different stages of a child’s life from a parent’s point of view.

Teaching a child to ride a bike takes an enormous amount of courage by a parent. Instinct tells a parent to keep their little one safe from the dangers of the world, like “…ride/a bike”(lines 2 and 3). In the beginning she “wobbled”(5) and carefully takes that first step towards independence. Then the child “pulled ahead”(8) and makes decisions that takes her farther away from her roots. Finally, the daughter “…like a handkerchief waving/ goodbye”(22) leaves home and lives her life separate from the parent who raised her. That separation creates emotions that send a parent searching through the memories created with that young person. Each phase of a child’s life creates lasting memories that live-forever in the mind of his or her parent.

A child goes through many stages in his or her life where different types of independence are acquired from life’s experiences. A parent stays by their child’s side as long as possible through all these transformations. Some stages in a child’s life may include walking, riding a bike, the first day of school, getting a drivers license, going on a first date, and leaving home. These events in a youngster’s life may cause a parent to revert back to one memory that each act of a child’s independence triggers. The author uses the memory of teaching her daughter how to “ride a bike” as the focus in her poem to demonstrate the feelings inside as she watches her child become more independent.

As a parent, the author shows her amazement at her daughter’s ability to take off on her own when she writes: “my own mouth rounding/in surprise when you pulled ahead.”(7,8) She expected to run along beside her daughter for a longer period of time. When her daughter took off by herself, the mother was not prepared to see her riding down the street successfully. No matter how well a parent believes they have taught a child to survive in life, it surprises and scares them when their child eventually accomplishes a skill, like riding a bike, on their own.

Linda Pastan shows her fear of success when she writes, “I kept waiting/for the thud/of your crash…”(10-12). Sometimes a parent expects their adventurous child to fail and plans to be there when they fall. Then when the child succeeds, without the parent’s assistance, the anxious mother may feel not only pride, but also may feel she is no longer needed. Success can also cause emotional pain when it takes the child farther away from the parent. Emotional pain is expressed in the poem as the author writes: “you grew/ smaller, more breakable/with distance” (13-15). As the young child matures and obtains skills that help her become more independent from her parent, the harder it is for her mother to be on the sidelines watching instead of doing things for her budding adolescent.

The more a child learns and grows, the closer they get to independence. The author uses repetition of the words, “pumping, pumping,” (17). These