Apology

Apology

A ten thousand word apology... it is in every way, absolutely, ridiculous. I know you that you could probably care less about this essay or an apology in general. Well, at least I would not, however that is simply the kind of person that I am. Unfortunately I failed to appear for my CQ shift on Saturday, the nineteenth of April of the year 2008. However I regret to inform you that it was not fault of my own that was the cause of this incident, when I read the CQ roster it stated that I was to report on Sunday, the twentieth of April of the year 2008. So just to inform you before I get to far into depth on my deep feelings of regret for not appearing on Saturday, the nineteenth of April of the year 2008, it is obviously not my incompetence but the utter idiocracy of another wonderful soldier that caused this mishap. Which of course I must suffer the consequences of their mistake. So as you can probably tell by now, if I am guilty of any form of irresponsibility, it is simply for failing to have my phone with me at all times and being within hearing distance, in order to receive the phone call that would have informed me of this mistake before it was too late to recover from it. However, this was a simple mistake that could have been made by even the most responsible of soldiers and I have most definitely learned this lesson the difficult way. I fully expect and accept my punishment in this case, however I would be lying between my teeth if I were to admit that I understand it or that I think it is fair. In other words I may bend over to accept the ass raping with no lube or reach around, but I will not welcome it. I guess you could say the cold hard truth of the matter is that this is a prime example of the Army way of life and the infantry specifically right? As many in the infantry may state, shit rolls down hill right? As tough as this reality may be we must all learn to accept it and I guess I am thankful that I am learning this lesson early in my military career rather than later, suffering harsher punishments. So, anyway, an apology in ten thousand words, I have put much thought towards how I am going to state this, without incriminating myself and with still explaining fully how I feel bad about the fact that you had to pull an unexpected CQ duty on a weekend. There is much to say yet I can not help but feel overwhelmed by the fact that I have over a triple digit number of words I must say it in. There are paragraphs and pages to fill and yet I still do not know even where or how to begin, but I figure if I fill it with enough interesting thoughts and information (or bullshit, however you may see it) that I will not only fill the pages but entertain you in the process. To begin with a lie, will eventually turn into many, usually forming a web of continuous lies that usually forms a long term story in which you must continue lying about in order to avoid uncovering the truth, while a truth is a simple, concise, accepting of fault or mistake. Is it not odd that, the average person, chooses to lie rather than to tell the truth and simply apologize? Interesting as this may be it is only the beginning of the quotes and facts that you will read in this essay. It will be a conglomeration of celebrity apologies, political apologies, theatrical apologies along with multiple other examples of pathetic sorrys and other forms of various people pleading for a second chance. This I hope will express both my own feelings and how others may feel if they have or will make a similar mistake. Well I guess I should probably begin…

"You must tell me who I might have hurt. I have to write them an apology."

Vivien Leigh

"I can wholeheartedly apologize for not being at all sorry. And it really is the least I can do."

April Winchell

"I feel like this is a dream—I apologize for how I addressed some of you."

Ray Romano

"It seems that whatever we do is somehow beyond reproach - murder, rape, drunk driving—as long as we go on a TV show and apologize."

Eric Stoltz

"A hero is someone we can admire without apology."

Kitty Kelley

"Genius goes around the world in its youth incessantly apologizing for having large feet. What wonder that later in life it should be inclined to raise those feet too swiftly to fools and bores."

F. Scott Fitzgerald

"What would I have done if I'd been put to the test? Would I have risked my own life for people I hardly knew?