Barrier of Denial

It was a torrid day in the Amazon, Lalika had traveled here two weeks ago to escape the busyness of the city. Now, as she sat with a spiritual leader, Armondo, she felt uncomfortable for the first time in her cleansing journey.

“You have to let go of your past to truly move on with your future, Lalika.” Armondo said earnestly.

“I just can not figure out what I am holding back, I desire to cleanse myself of the vile things of my past you say you sense in me. I just can not figure out what I am holding back, it is as if I pushed it so far into my unconscious that even I can no longer reach it.”

“But it can be reached my child, you need just to relax, here, lie down and listen.” Armondo sang a gentle, beautiful Amazonian song passed from his ancestors, in hope that Lalika would relax and soon he would be able to ask questions so that the answers would flow straight from her unconscious, without her even realizing. As she has said, she can no longer even remember the atrocious events Armondo senses in her past.

After singing the song for a few minutes, Lalika was so relaxed, it was as if she were in another world, on her own, in serenity.

“It happened when you were yet a child, remember your puerility?” Armondo whispered.

“I remember childhood,” Lalika smiled, “I remember Mother and how she always smelt pleasantly of vanilla and how her hair was as soft as silk. She was so beautiful!”

“Do you remember your father Lalika?”

“Yes,” her face no longer in a smile, “Father was much different than Mother, harsher. It was as if sometimes, he did not want me around, as if I were just a bump in the road he was required to deal with.”

“So you did not have a prestigious relationship with your father?” Armondo questioned.

“No, he was sometimes very hateful with me.”

“Did he ever harm you in anyway, Lalika?”

“One time, Mother was very sick an din the hospital, I asked to be allowed to go see her numerous times, but he kept saying no.” she paused as if remembering, “I was so exhausted and I missed Mother so!”

“Please continue.”

“I was so agitated that he would not allow me to see her that I hit him numerous times in the chest while screaming �I want my Mother, I just want to see my Mother!’ and weeping uncontrollably. He was so enraged by my hitting him.”

Lalika began to cry remember