Feelings of Regret

Feelings of Regret

I know what it is like to be in a situation where you don’t have a great home life, but you know there are other solutions to your situation then marriage. I can tell you that from experience. I turned 18 in May. Three months later I married the man I thought was my true love and the person I was going to spend my whole life with. One month after our second wedding anniversary, I separated from him and within six months we were divorced. Before I got married I believe that this would never happen to me, but it did and I became a teenage marriage statistic. If I could go back to being eighteen again and walk into the courthouse to get married without any of our family and friends there, I would not do it!

Knowing what I have gone though, REGRET comes to my mind. I lost three years of my life not as a regular teen. I was an immature adult trying to make it in an adult’s world without a college education or any job experience. IF your teens truly believe that they are in love, then time will put it to the test. Once they are done with college or something besides high school only then should they consider marriage.

One of key reasons for teenage marriage to end unhappily is definitely the extra strain and emotional overload caused by the naivetй of young people for the realities of marriage. The classical image of marriage is described as happy life in which two people unconditionally love each other through their entire life. Having married the young couple is to face the routine and weekdays the cohabitation

implies. The young people are finally granted the chance to see their partner and be together all the time. With time, however, the initial elation fades and they are left feeling unhappy. This false image of happiness is also ephemeral and the state of moral weariness is likely to have its effect. Then, the monotony can easily oust the fairy tale resulting in divorce, or even worse, the state of mutual insult in which the people keep on living.

The level of psychological development of teenagers is not stable and they are merely not ready for mutual obligations and responsibilities that constrain their free desires. They are developing their emotions and intellectual capacities. They have great energy, lots of ambitions and wish to actualize themselves, and be free from any bonds imposed on them by external forces. Samantha was 18 when she got married. She had beautiful plans for life and viewed her marriage as the basis for her further development. Unfortunately, she had to divorce in a year. Her marriage required all of her time and was an impediment in her self-actualization. For young people the marriage can be the most constraining force which compels them to accept responsibility and renounce of freedoms granted by the bachelor lifestyle. Since the spouses have greater power to dictate their will than the mere boy/girlfriend the domestic life can turn into continual reproofs and discontent from both sides.

For some teens, especially girls, the idea of marriage is associated with economical stability and security. Such incentive, however, is a poor justification

for marriage. Susan was married at 17. She did not want to stay home as she could not find a job. She also could not disregard her boyfriend’s marriage proposal. Her desire for love, attention and security brought her to her wedding. Having 3 children she was divorced in 5 years. The dreams for happiness and security did not come true. Definitely, no economic factor can serve the incentive