Fighting Fair, Ethics in Conflict Negotiation

Fighting Fair, Ethics in Conflict Negotiation

Over the years I’ve held several leadership jobs, attended many hours of conflict negotiation courses and mastered the use of my femininity as a last resort tool in achieving my objective when challenged with negotiating a tough sale. Looking back on my life’s lessons, I guess I would say that motherhood and being a wife has taught me my most valuable lesson in conflict resolution and that is having enough ethics to negotiate a fair fight. Dr. Chester L. Karrass said, “Negotiating is more than a discussion of issues or a signed agreement. Negotiating is an unwritten judgment on the quality and character of the participants. In reaching that judgment, integrity is the key element. Integrity makes the deal work. There is no substitute for it.” In reading in the class text, I started to get the felling that in business or in any other situation, ethics in negotiating is a rare occurrence. Last year I wanted to purchase a new car, in the process of shopping, I searched store after store looking for a car that met the needs of my family. As I negotiated with the salesmen, it seemed only natural to use whatever tactic I could to broker the best possible deal, sadly enough I somehow felt the salesman was doing the same. That’s when I realized that maybe the saying, all is fair in love and war, also applies to negotiations. Think about it, my objective was to get the most for my family out of the situation, this was also the same objective the dealership had. So why should I worry about being fair in the process. In 2004, Menkel-Meadow, and Wheeler published, What is Fair: Ethics for Negotiators. In this book, the authors address personal and organizational ethics, and whether or not there is a standard of fairness in the war of gaining ground with the opposition. One interesting point made by these authors was that each of us brings with us our own established ethical barometers in our history, demographics, moral default positions, philosophies about social action, professional training and a variety of other bargaining endowments or character traits that will some how influence our position. The perception of this position will set the mark on whether or not our negotiation ethics are on the moral high ground. In other words, answering the question ,”What is fair” can only be answered after computing the negotiation process with the various factors which makeup the individuals involved in the negotiation. In applying this logic to family and personal negotiations, I realize that the standards some what change. When it comes to family, you want to settle you negotiations in a way that keeps everyone happy. It seems that brokering a deal with a toddler is the toughest deal to make, when dealing with them or teens for that mater, the over riding factor for you is your children’s or family safety, while trying to give a little to keep them happy. In this case, what is fair is always out weighted by what is best. In the children’s eyes, nothing is fair, and they will do what ever to get what they want. As I reviewed all this I concluded that what’s fair is based solely on the individual, where their morals lay and what conditions are riding on the successful outcome of the negotiation. When applying this concept to the corporate world, one first has to ensure their definition of ethics coincides with their respective organizations. The course text states that ethics are broadly applied social standards for what is right or wrong in a particular situation, or a process for setting those standards. These standards differ from morals, which are personal beliefs to each of us about what is right or wrong.

As I think a little deeper about what is fair in conflict settlement, my mind shifts to the many conversations I’ve heard over the years. Some people believe that maintaining the moral high ground is the fair approach. Some people look to what would only be acceptable to their interest, and many others truly care for the needs and desires of other. All this thinking made me identify what I believe is a good position in negotiating a middle ground solution. When asking myself the question, “What is fair?” My first point of focus is identifying what the two party objectives are. Anyone entering into an agreement must do their homework to understand what things are of interest to the other parties involved. Next they must set clear objectives for the meeting and determine what their high value and low value dealing points are. If there is another competitor for this good or service, and what is the true business value to your client goes any. To many it would seem that asking the topic