Myself

i'm japanese/american though rumor has it, the postman was korean. i'm an import model for shibaura, hinomoto and mitsubishi-satoh farm tractors. i was fired on 'the apprentice' and i wasn't even a contestant. i've been there, that's why i'm here. my cup is half-empty on some days and half-full on others. i only have one oar in the water. i ride and spur the pale pony of the apocalypse. death doesn't follow me but neurosis does. i'm a jack-of-all-trades but a master of none. my conscious is clear but then again, i have a poor memory. i borrow money from pessimists because they don't expect me to pay it back. i potentially had a psychic girlfriend but she left before we met. i invented the cordless extension cord. i try to daydream but my mind keeps wandering. i plan to be spontaneous tomorrow. i believe that the problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard. i consistently fail at everything i do yet it always feels like success. i make friends and talk to the shadows on my wall. i scream whiprash!! whiprash!! any time the city bus stops short. i'm politically conservative but liberal about personal choices. i'm not always right nor am i always wrong. i'm a part-time saint and a part-time sinner. i laugh a whole lot more than i frown. i would rather be alone than lonely. i sometimes wonder what condition, my condition is in. i'm not tough nor do i pretend