Psychoanalysis

It is very interesting when I saw the word "psychoanalysis" in an English class. I am not saying it shouldn't be there. It likes seeing two men holding hands in the street in 4th century. It is something out of imagination as same as mothering (for me personally). I am not yet a mother of anyone, but I believe I will be a mom eventually. Now I am still someone's daughter. It is really hard for me to capture the tone and the idea of mothering behind those stories. It is untrue that being a mom and being a daughter have nothing in commons and have no connection. However, I believe mother and daughter have different point of view on their lives.

When we were discussing mothering in class after watching "Stella Dallas," lots of us believe mothering means selfless, asexual, self-scarification, loss of one's identity and silence. Nevertheless, I was fighting in my mind. I don't consider these symptoms as being a good mother, for the reason that I believe selfless is not the only intention of being a good mom.

Stella is not a good mom according to those theories. She didn't sacrificed enough which lead her daughter, Lauren, to be suffered (no one came to Lauren’s birthday party and had been embarrassed in club house). Yet, nobody can say she is a bad mom, at least I cannot. She did sacrifice and serve her daughter as a princess. It might be true that she led her daughter to be suffered, even so we cannot blame on her naive and selfish. Everybody have a reason to be self-centered, including moms. Susan Griffin wrote “So that when a woman is finally free of her children’s needs, she wants to forget”, forget everything about being selfless and forget she can only be with her children. It is a resting period, not the end of the story. Moms will always be moms. They will never turn their back to their children when their children need them. That is their love. Same as Stella, she loves her daughter which means she wanted the best for her daughter. Thus Stella went to see Mrs. Martin after Lauren told Stella that she was in love with George Martin. Therefore, Stella pushed Lauren to Mrs. Morrison and Lauren’s father, Mr. Dallas. It is identical theme to Susan Griffin’s idea, “She sacrifices herself. Herself is lost. The child becomes the center of her life; the child’s needs placed before her needs, until often, she lives in her child,…” After separation, Stella stayed with Lauren and only lived with Lauren.

Unlike the standard of being a good or bad mom, as a daughter, I will only think Stella as a bad mother because she led her daughter