Shattered Dreams

When I was a young girl growing up the best thing I remember were Sunday’s getting ready for church. After church, my family would proceed to have a meal together. We were a close family that shared conversations, laughter, and prayer. The strongest value was our Catholic religion. My parents taught us to live strictly by our religious teachings. My siblings and I had to attend church every Sunday and on Holy days of Obligation. We had to pray before and after each meal, pray in the mornings upon rising and in the evenings before retiring to bed. We also did a lot of charity work like feeding the homeless and visiting the shut-ins. I’ve attended Catholic School most of my life. I appreciated the significance and teachings we were taught. My parents did an exceptional job teaching us how to live by the Ten Commandments.

My image of marriage became a shattered dream when I was eleven years old, because my father who had taught me how to build a strong family with a religious foundation was committing adultery! The devastation flooded my thoughts and crushed my image of my father. My father who was my protector, someone I trusted, and had turned to for words of wisdom had betrayed my family and me! He didn’t know it at the time, but he set a picture of how a husband was supposed to be for me.

Divorce is the ending of two people who were married by law. (Webster’s dictionary) Donald Huges, author of “The Divorce Reality”, states “In the churches, people have a superstitious view that Christianity will keep from divorce, but they are subjected to the same problem as everyone else, and they include a lack of relationships skills . . . which is 90% of the United States.” (religion.com)The dysfunctions divorce couples face are money issues, lack of communication, and cheating spouses. In 2003, the husbands who have admitted to cheating on a spouse were 5%. The wives who admitted to cheating on a spouse were 4.55%. In 2004, Oprah’s magazine had a survey of women who have cheated on their spouses was 15%. The percentage of men was unknown. The couples who have been married despite an affair was 78%, later described the marriage as unhappy or empty. The thought which remains with me is, if you love and respect someone with your whole heart, why would any person destroy a family’s foundation and morals for a moment of lust?

When a divorce happens it affects the whole family. Depending on the children’s age, the parents should explain the situation with their children. In 2003 Bernalillo County’s divorce rate for families with children was 46% and families without children were 36%. The sole custody rate was 82% granted to the mothers. The parents who agree for joint custody of their children are 15% of mother’s and 35% of father’s. (divorcepeers.com)

I acknowledge marriage has decayed for most people. The age of marriage