The Death of a Loved one

Poarch Pg. 1

Windy Poarch

ENG 101 99

Mr. Winn

12 October 2008

The Death of A Loved One

There are many different ways to deal with the death of a loved one. I have been dealing with the death of my father. I have discovered that if I acknowledge my emotions, honor him by living, reach out to others, be in the moment, accept the death, and remember the great times, and then I can deal with death.

To begin with, I must acknowledge my emotions, and there is no escaping this. It is important to allow myself to feel and express them. My emotions can range from sadness to anger, resentment, frustration, and fear. I started off sad that I lost someone close to me, and then I got angry at myself because I questioned if I could have done something different. If I would have done something different maybe my father would have still been here. I have resentment toward myself and frustration with my family and myself. I have fear of what is going to happen to my father now in his past life. I have fears of not having my father here with me. I fear for my mother and how this is going to affect her life. So, I must find an outlet to release them, whether be through talking to friends and family, working out, journaling, or support groups. I talked to friends and family about my feelings and this was helpful because I understood their feelings as well as they understood mine. I also wrote this to be a way to let my emotions out and try to help myself through the death of my father.

Second, I must honor him by living and not go into "survivor's guilt," where people stop living and can go into morning, sadly, for the rest of their life. This is the last thing my loved one would want for me. He would want for me to live, to be alive, and would not want to be the reason I gave up. I can miss him and respect him at the same time by living.

Now is the time to reach out, open up, be engaged, and accept the help of others. We should be connected to others, put aside the pride or the need to get through things alone and let people in. People, hugs, and love are apart of healing. Just let them happen.

Next, be in the moment for my father will