The Split

The word divorce is heard more and more in people’s conversations. Over 800,000 couples in the United States get divorced each year. “ Half say our family lives were stressful. More than half say we experienced many looses” (Marquardt). I want to know not only what the adults go through but also what kind of scars children carry throughout their lives. Divorce not only affects two people; it affects whole families.

In Elizabeth Marquardt’s article she talks about a guy named Walker and his feeling about divorce. “ He moves through days, weeks, people, growing attached and then letting go, meeting people and then saying good-bye…It’s easier to forget, to wipe the slate clean, watch the world go by like a film on a screen, without letting anything stick.” His parents choose to have him move from one place to another each year.

The story of Janet and Sybil is a real life story of how they felt when their parents got divorced. It was not abnormal for them to be angry or clingy or distant for hours when they would go from one house to another (Marquardt).This causes many people attachment issues later in life. Sybil said “ Once we felt so much loss, so many times, many of us grew numb to it…I learned to bottle up my longing for my father and did my best to ignore how much I missed my mother” (Marquardt). Many people expect children of divorce to be able to handle the situation when in reality they are falling to the point of

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not caring about anything.

In many researchers opinions they say that if children ‘don’t end up drug addicts in the street ,’ it means they are just fine and the divorce wasn’t a problem for them (Wetzstein). In some studies adults who have been through divorce as children have grown to accept the facts that their parents were better off divorcing (Wetzstein). Most people don’t understand that it is more traumatizing to a child growing up in an unhappy family with a lot of yelling and anger.

In Norval Glenn’s opinion on divorce , research shows that children of divorce learn to: Worry about child abuse, sexual abuse and kidnapping. They worry about their personal belongings more during travel. Wonder about religion and God. Become ’chameleons’ because they must figure out how to function in their parents different worlds. Become vigilant about parental moods. Become keeper of secrets, especially those of their parents. Handle parents remarriage or divorce well” (Wetzstein). As a child of divorce I lost my sense of ’belonging’ for many years. Most of the time you feel on the outside looking in at people. It’s hard to place yourself in any place because your scared of people walking out on you (Wetzstein). This causes many people to choose not to get married ever.

In people’s opinions as a whole divorce has been linked to , the high rates of school dropouts, teenage pregnancy, illegal drug use, poor health, attempted suicide, and depression. Child abuse also thrives on divorce, its shown step-parents in a child’s home is “ the most powerful predictor of severe child abuse” (Carlson).Divorce is hard but not so hard that kids don’t know what is wrong and what is right. Children do feel like

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outsiders in certain situations. As a child of divorce you do grow up more quickly than other kids. You get feelings of not being safe or stable, loneliness, loss and need