To Marry, or Not to Marry

“Marriage” by Gregory Corso is a poem not only about the typical phases and events that relationships go through in the process of finding that special someone to spend the rest of your life with, but also about how that marriage is a huge institution in American society that has shaped and controlled our culture. I personally believe that the whole idea of marriage is a lot harder for males to accept as a part of growing up and moving on with their lives. This poem shows the fears that men have; from meeting their future wife’s parents for the first time, to the awkward honeymoon check-in, and as far s to what type of father they would be. He uses very Americanized imagery throughout the poem as well. I believe by using this imagery he is making a reference to the fact that in America, marriage is such a tradition among everyone and is looked down upon if you are not married. It is seen in our culture that there is something wrong with a person if they are not married before 35, especially women. At the time that this poem was written the career of a woman was limited, mostly to being a housewife or a simple job such as a secretary. There is a lot of pressure on both sexes to find that someone and I believe Corso sees that and incorporates it into his work. “Marriage” is a poem full of humor and irony to express what he and other Beat poets of the 1950’s felt about the institution of marriage and dating in American society; they saw it as another form of oppression and to keep lower class citizens down.

To understand where Corso is coming from and to get an idea about what his true meaning behind his poetry is, I believe that you have to know some background information about him. Corso was a Beat Poet, a group that was very critical of American values in the 1950's. They viewed society as unfair, forcing people to live traditionalist suburban lives according to the ideology of the white upper-class male. This was a decade where Blacks had virtually no rights and women were limited to roles of housewife, mother and possibly a job dedicated to women’s roles, such as a secretary or a nurse. To the Beat Poets marriage was just another institution that kept people obedient and in their place. His background and personal beliefs shine through his work as a poet (Leach).

Corso uses irony throughout the poem. Marriage is typically seen in our culture as nothing to joke about and the foundation of the family, but he finds a way to make light of the awkward situations couples go through, beginning with the first date. “Don’t take her to movies but to cemeteries” (Corso 4). Although I doubt that he would honestly take a date to the cemetery, he is making light that a typical date is a trip to the movies. I believe that he is saying that to go on a date doesn’t mean that you have to go to the movies or dinner. Going to the movies for a first date there is hardly any conversation and you can’t get to know the person that you are interested in.

Assuming that the date in the cemetery goes well, Corso goes into meeting her parents and describes the awkwardness of the situation. “When she introduces me to her parents / back straightened, hair finally combed, strangled by a tie, should I sit knees together on their 3rd degree sofa / and not ask Where’s the bathroom?” (11-15) Being in your significant others house for the first time to meet their parents can be so intimidating. I can imagine Corso sitting there on the sofa with his hair combed, overly dressed and extremely uncomfortable trying to have good posture. When he refers to the sofa as being a 3rd degree sofa I believe that he is talking about their parents giving him the 3rd degree and getting drilled with questions about himself. I still haven’t met my boyfriends parents because neither one of us wants to create an awkward situation, such as described in the passage. The act of trying to impress a significant others family can turn someone into a nervous wreck. Dating someone who’s parents dislike you is a very hard and frustrating thing. It puts a lot of additional stress on the relationship, especially if you know that they will eventually be your in-laws. So in other words he is giving advice to the men; suck it up for a little bit, clean up, dress nice and use your best manners.

After Corso describes what he thinks meeting her parents would be like he jumps right into having the wedding and the attitudes of the wedding guest. Corso describes his friends and what he thinks their behavior will be like. “and only a handful of mine all scroungy and bearded/ just wait to get at the drinks and food- ” (28-29). Which basically implies the reason for their presence at the wedding. They were not there