Which Disease to Choose?

Which disease to choose?

There are so many disease that I can choose from that might have affected me and still might, but for now how about I just tell you the ones that already have and I have over come. Some will come to a great surprise to you and others, it was just childhood or ignorance.

I will start by saying that it all started I guess in high school when I was a little over weight and I wanted to fit in. I got depressed and everything. Finally the doctors put me on wellbutrin 500mg; and I also found out that I had polycystic ovary syndrome so he put me on birth control and glucophage 250 mg to help regulate my sugar. I didn’t know that by taking these meds id loose weight as well as treat my depression and my syndromes that I found out I had. But then the depression just got worse when I found out who my true friends were. Every one hated me cause I wasn’t fat any more. I was teased for being too skinny, so fell worse in. I started to feel suicidal. (Now I ask my self why? And answer go figure!) So in order for me to succeed with high school and get away from all the negativity I transferred schools and met the next bad chapter of my life.

I started out fresh in a new school I didn’t know any one. I was the “New Girl”! Every one wanted to know me and I liked the special attention. But it was shortly ended after I met the father of my little girl, Izellah. He was your typical shy boy, goofy, handsome (in his own way back then), and tall; my dream boy back in the day. And it had turned out that he “liked” me too. We got together and it was all cool until I found out I was pregnant. You play with fire, you will get burned; my mother would always tell me. I thought it would be ok, he told me it would; but it wasn’t. Time went on, fights were started, his cheating was exposed, and his abuse began and then went away when the baby came. The damage was done and I was back in depression. I let it go, I was only 17; where was I going to go, so I stayed. BIG MISTAKE! The relationship just went down hill. He went to the marines came back, abused me some more, physically, mentally, and emotionally. He left again I had thoughts of suicide again, but for my daughter I over came it. Finally he came back again for the second time; I then had over come and built up the courage to tell him that I was leaving. He didn’t believe me; I packed up Izellah’s and my things and left he house key on the kitchen table. I went back home to the “I told you so’s.”

I started partying, smoking and drinking. I also started school! It was my only way out of depression I thought. But was it depression? I don’t know. Now I think it was stupidity. I continued partying and found that my therapy was dancing. While I was there on the floor having no worries at hand, never mind I was drinking, I slowly over come the “depression”. Things got worse. His parents tried taking Z away from me; they were spreading lies about me and so on and so forth. He was in the war so he let them do it and didn’t care. Time came and went they only got visitation. I started working full time at HISD as a secretary, going to school part time. He came home and we tried working stuff out, BIG MISTAKE again. Depression came over me again. This time I took it to the extent. I started to do drugs. I got a second job. I ended up having 2 full time jobs, one day and one night, going to school part time, and being a mom. I had a full load. I quit my HISD job before they figured I was doing drugs, kept my waitress job, where I was getting the drugs, and almost flunking out of school. I then asked for a transfer of clubs so I would get away from the influence of the drugs. But once your hooked on it, it follows you, so I kept doing it.

In that time my grandfather came ill and dies in the hospital. I had already seen 3 deaths in my life, my grand mother and her husband (this one that just died) and my other grandfather 3 years before her. And at the rate that I was going at, I was going to be next. So I quit the job and quit school and tried to get over my drug addiction. I was also doing it because I was losing

my daughter. She didn’t ever want to be with me. I had to do something to get her back. I found this one job that was kind of dumb now that I think of it but at the time I thank God for putting it in my path. I was traveling, it literally got me away from the drugs and I was clean! I did it finally! But it was taking me away from my little girl.

I quit. As always I run. My mom was supportive of me and knew of my past habit. So to prevent me from going back to my old ways, she put me in school. Cosmetology. I was doing good and very interested in it too. I got a job at Wal-Mart and having fun! I was happy again for