5 Lessons Worth Remembering - Worth Reading!!!!! !

5 Lessons worth remembering. ...... WORTH READING!!!!! !

A young executive was leaving the office at 6 p.m. then he found the CEO

standing in front of a shredder with a piece of paper in his hand.

"Listen," said the CEO, "this is a very sensitive and important

document, and my secretary has left. Can you make this thing work?"

"Certainly," said the young executive. He turned the machine on,

inserted the paper, and pressed the start button.

"Excellent,excellen t!" said the CEO as his paper disappeared inside the

machine. "I just need one copy."

Lesson I - Never, never assume that your BOSS knows everything.

************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ******

A crusty old man walks into a bank and says to the teller at the window:

"I want to open a damn checking account."

To which the astonished woman replies: "I beg your pardon, sir; I must

have misunderstood you. What did you say?"

"Listen up bitch! I said, I want to open a damn checking account right now!"

"I'm very sorry sir, but we do not tolerate that kind of language in

this bank." Having said this, the teller leaves the window and goes over

to the bank manager to tell him about her problem customer.

They both return and the manager asks the old geezer: "What seems to be

the problem here?"

"There's no damn problem, sonny," the elderly man says. I just won 50

million bucks in the damn lottery and I want to open a damn checking

account in this damn bank!"

"I see," says the manager thoughtfully. "And you're saying that this

bitch here is giving you a hard time?"

Lesson II - If you are RICH, you can get away with almost anything.

************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* *****

An American and a Japanese were sitting on the plane on the way to LA

when the American turned to the Japanese and asked, "What kind of -ese

are you?" The Japanese confused, replied, "Sorry but I don't understand

what you mean." The American repeated, "What kind of -ese are you?"

Again, the Japanese was confused over the question. The American, now

irritated, then yelled, "What kind of -ese are you...Are you a Chinese,

Japanese, Vietnamese!, etc......??? " The Japanese then replied, "Oh, I

am a Japanese."

A while later the Japanese turned to the American and asked What kind of

'key' was he. The American, frustrated, yelled, "What do you mean what

kind of '-key' am I?!" The Japanese said, "Are you a Yankee, donkee, or

monkee?"

Lesson III - Never insult anyone.

************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ******

There were these 4 guys, a Russian, a German, a British and a French,

who