Anorexia

My feeble body leaped into the warm tub, shivering in the middle of summer. With no body fat, it is difficult to keep warm. I lay there immobile due to the excruciating pain my bones grinding on the bathtub floor caused. Looking down into the bathtub water, I noticed something I had never noticed before. My ribs stuck out like knives, what I had of legs were mere bones, my goose bump covered skin was dry and purple, and my once full breasts were now deflated lumps. As I lay in the tub, looking down at the monster before me, my eyes filled with tears, and I realized I was very different.

In order to fit in, perfection was my only option. I was a straight A student, a star athlete, and had many friends. To the outside world, I was everything girls my age strive so hard to be. To the outside world this may have been true. However, to me, I was never good enough; I had to push myself to be more. When opening up a magazine, turning on the television, and even walking down the street, the sight of stick thin beautiful women are present. These women, in my eyes, were perfect. The hip bones sticking out, the long slim legs, the high cheek bones, that was sexy, that was gorgeous, that was perfection. They had it all, the looks, the attention from boys, and most of all the friends. If I could look like these girls, I would fit in, I would finally reach perfection. However, as I soon learned, perfection is one thing, but abusing yourself until death is staring you in the face is another.

Changing the human body into an emaciated from of illusive perfection can have fatal consequences. In order to achieve my goal, I started skipping meals. I bought nonfat everything, lied to avoid eating, even started chewing gum to keep my mind of the empty thunderous noises my stomach made. Food was my obsession, I longed for it like a drug addict longs for coke. Indulging in one cracker left me in utter hatred and tears. In a short 3 month period, I had lost almost 30lbs. In my new 5’6” 87lb