Basic Awakenings

Each child has a special relationship with their parents; additionally many children tend to be slightly detached from the parents due to several reasons. Over the years, they share memories of good and bad things. This is not to say that the family is dysfunctional, (although there are many cases) however it takes many years for people to accept and respect their relatives decisions. In the essay “Arm Wrestling With my Father” by Brad Manning and “Shooting Dad” by Sarah Vowell, the authors describe their relationship with their father as a child and their perception of gradual changes. Each story depicts a conflict of communication between a child and a parent. Although there are some differences, each essay shares undertones of warmth and indifference. While the essay by Manning appears to be solemn and touching, Vowell comically and cordially demonstrates the differences between her and her father.

The children in both of these essays share common experiences with their father. They are at odds about their father’s decision and the way that they choose to live. Manning expresses the lack of love he received from his father. He states that everything about their relationship was physical, “determined by athleticism and strength” (145). He resented the fact that his father “never wrote a card or letter” (145) and lacked concern to build a better relationship between the two. Fathers are the one to show their son how to be a man. As a child it was only normal for him to search for the affection he never saw in his father. This put a strain on their relationship, something Manning never wanted. The only “conversation” they formulated was physical. He did not have the capability to share something intimate and personal with his father because the only actual contact they had was wrestling. His father never opened the doors for concrete verbal and emotional communication. Their encounters were competitive, which Manning took seriously as a child. He put his heart in and forced love through the arm wrestling. He was desperate to win the insuperable. He describes his dad arm as “calm” and “unmoving” (145). It was a joy for him to “have such a strong father” (145) but it was painful to subsist in a life where love is physical. In “Shooting Dad”, Vowell is a young girl who seemed to be better connected with her father than Manning. Even though she says it was a “house divided” (152), there was never as question of whether or not he loved her. She simply demonstrates that they held different views. She states that her father’s life revolved around firearms. It was not to the point where he loved them so much that he neglected his family, nevertheless it was a huge distraction for her. She says that he “cared” about guns and she “cared” about art (153). His obsession for firearms became the basis and structure of the house. The house was full of guns and she recalls having to “move revolvers” off the kitchen table just to eat a bowl of cereal. Although she disagrees with her father fascination for guns as a child, she illustrates how they both are “messy” people, his area full of guns and hers full of instruments. Any normal girl would not enjoy living in a house heaped with guns and any normal boy would yearn for his father’s affection. Towards the end, each of these children reconcile with their father’s in surprising ways.

After many years, the relationship with both children and their father’s changed. For Manning it became a bitter-sweet moment in time. Following a break from college, Manning returned home to be with his family. It had been a while since there last competition, so they decided to continue on with their routinely rivalry. Manning noticed that his dad’s arm did not look as vigorous, but he still expected his father to be victorious. It was not easy,