Dealing with Stress

There are many challenges that we face and have to handle every single day. And, as women, we frequently have to balance the demands of work, family, children, parents, finances, and health—to name just a few. These demands are frequently referred to as “stressors” and achieving a balance is “stressful.” But multiple demands on our time and energy are a part of everyone’s life. Stress is not how many demands you have in your life, but rather how you and your body respond to these demands. For some, racing to meet a tight deadline or complete a long “ToDo” list can be positive and energizing. It’s important to learn what stress is, at what point it becomes harmful, and options for how you can respond to it. Finding the right balance is essential.

Stress: A Fight or Flight Response

When you find yourself in a threatening situation---such as when a car suddenly cuts you off in traffic---your body responds with physical, mental and emotional changes. You may notice that your heart races, your mouth gets dry or your skin becomes clammy. This is called a “fight or flight” response. Your body’s immediate and natural response is to re-direct blood flow to deliver more oxygen to your arms and legs, speed up your digestion, and release a variety of hormones such as adrenalin. These changes are designed to protect you and to give you the energy you need to respond, physically and emotionally, to the situation that you are facing. But when a “flight of flight” response is prolonged or when it occurs frequently in response to everyday demands and events, this protective energizing response can have negative effects and result in stress and anxiety.

Your body is not designed to endure ongoing stress. Having your body continually “on alert” can have harmful consequences, including:

• Physical: headache, tight muscles, sleep problems, dry mouth

• Emotional: sadness, fear, anger confusion

• Mental: increased anxiety, depression, eating problems

• Addictive: alcohol, tobacco or drug abuse

Learn Your “Stress Triggers”

There are two key approaches to managing stress: 1) decrease your stressors and 2) learn to manage and respond to stressors in a healthy, productive way.

Decrease Your Stressors

There are many ways to reduce the number of stressors in your life. The following is a list of suggestions from individuals and counselors who have successfully learned how to identify and manage stress triggers.

Manage Your Time

Time and time management issues are common stressors. Stress is generated when there are tight deadlines or there is limited time to complete projects or tasks. Some basic suggestions for gaining more control of your time include:

• Get up 15 minutes earlier or at least on time. You'll start the day with enough time and won't feel that you have to "catch-up."

• Allow extra time. By planning a tightly packed schedule, you can't be flexible when events run late.

• Schedule breaks and take them. Working toward breaks can be an incentive to complete a project; breaks can also be a time cushion throughout the day.

Get Organized

• Make a list. A visual reminder of what needs to get done can help decrease a fear that you will forget to complete an important task and decreases the list of mental “To Do’s” that can feel overwhelming.

• Prioritize the list and break projects into small pieces. You can only do one thing at a time. Do the most important tasks first and check them off your list. Recognizing that you are making progress will help you feel a sense of accomplishment

• Set goals for each day. Your list is likely to be longer that you could ever accomplish in a day. Create a list of reasonable goals for each day.

• Delegate tasks. Remember, you aren't responsible for everything. Don’t be afraid to ask for help from family, co-workers and friends.

Focus on Your Priorities

• Allow yourself to say "no." Know your limits and don’t over-extend yourself. If you cannot say “no,” then negotiate a reasonable timeframe for completing a task or a project.

• Accept that there are some things you cannot change. Your time is valuable. Do not