Essence of Marriage

Essence of Marriage

The essence of marriage is based on a sole purpose of the beliefs in Christianity and the true meaning of this holy union. We today tend to think of marriage as a religious event, the following will show the biblical perspective, which means of God. Now this will contradict various traditional notions and customs for even the meaning of the word “marriage” has been redefined by cultural changes in history. “Marriage is essentially about love, and commitment, that’s lifelong. Why would anyone wish to deny that, to any sincere person?”(Gilson)

In Christianity, God plays an important role in the matrimony. He oversees, as some tend to believe, and blesses their day in prayer this is why most people are married in a church. As a young girl I remember my mother always said, “If you don’t get married inside a church then your marriage shall have no meaning.” These beliefs tend to make godly believers think that any other matrimony that has happened outside of a church, like on the beach, may not receive God and his blessing into their life. So much on how we focus our views that we may not fully understand the true meaning of how God joined two counterparts to make their lives better.

I always wondered what “to have and to hold” meant, then I look deeper into the bible and its meaning. “I, (name), take you (name), to be my lawfully wedded (wife/husband), to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish; from this day forward until death do us part.”(Bible)  This vow contributes to how much love a couple may hold for each other. It means so much more than one thinks. The promises that two people make to each other during their wedding ceremony entitles that not only do they give up their own selfishness, but they now must incorporate their significant other into every decision. You are now sharing your soul with that person you promised “in sickness and in health” that day you walked out onto that alter. Stability is not only about financially, but physically as a whole. The sole purpose marriage was to have love, without love there is no marriage.

As we know, the traditions of marriage the earliest tradition the father, would have a daughter and a possible husband would ask him for her hand in marriage. The mother of the girl (his wife) would be controlled by the father and had no choice in the matter. The father would transfer the daughter to her now new husband in public to show his approval of her groom. Binding women to men was used centuries ago to show that the children she had belonged to the man, this was what we now call marriage. Usually this civil affair had rules which were followed.

Marriage has evolved into two equals seeking lifelong dreams of getting old and spending eternity together. It is now where you choose you own partner, well in most cultures, and you learn to love them so much you expect the best of everything. No marriage is perfect, it is what you make of it. Marriage has now become one without trust for most where infidelity has been taking place more often.  “The majority of marriages not only survive infidelity, but marriage and family therapists have observed that many marriages can become stronger and more intimate after couples therapy. Multiple affairs may indicate an addiction to sex, love or romance. Love and romance addicts are driven by the passion of a new relationship. Sexual addicts are compulsively attracted to the high and the anxiety release of sexual orgasm.” (Glass)

Athens men disliked women and put off marriage as long as possible. They gave in out of a sense of civic responsibility and a desire to produce an acceptable heir. Romans expected to marry first and to love after. Egyptian men thought very highly of women and embraced the idea of marriage and seem to have regarded love as an essential part of it. In ancient Egypt there was no religious aspect of marriage because they worshipped idols. Ancient Greek and Roman women needed their guardian’s approval to marry.

 Mesopotamian marriage similar to Egyptian, was vitally important to continue the family line and provide stability. During the marriage ceremony, the husband veiled his bride with witnesses in the presence and declared that she was his wife. Then perfume was poured on the head of the bride and presents were given by the groom. The groom and the bride’s father entered a contract which stipulated a price for the maiden's hand. Preserving power in the family was what this ceremony was about, if the marriage did not produce children or if the wife died, the money would be returned to the now husband. The husband was also allowed to keep a concubine, in addition to having a wife. Though her position was never equal to that of a wife, so she always had an inferior status.