Funny T-Shirt Sayings

No matter what you do for them, eventually, they will hate you.

Smile, it's the second best thing you can do with your lips.

Oh crap! You're going to try and cheer me up, aren't you?

Excuse, but do I look like someone who cares?

Rehab Is for Quitters

I don't know what makes you dumb But it really works.

Always remember you're unique... Just like everyone else.

I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.

Out of my mind. Back in five minutes

I'm not a complete idiot--some parts are missing.

Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?

Quoting one is plagiarism; quoting many is research.

My imaginary friend thinks you have mental problems.

Nice face! What are you gonna' do when the baboon wants his butt back?

Support human cloning! Two heads are better than one.

Shut up brain, or I'll stab you with a Q-Tip!

If a man speaks in the middle of a forest and there is no woman to hear him, is he still wrong?

You're just jealous because the voices talk to me.

Don't interrupt me while I'm talking with myself!

Marriage is not a word; it's a sentence.

I'm with stupid >>>

No sense in being pessimistic. It wouldn't work anyway!

It's only funny until someone gets hurt. Then it's hilarious.

People like you are the reason people like me need medication.

Save the trees. Wipe your butt with an owl!

Do not disturb! I'm disturbed enough already.

Due to budget cuts, the light at the end of the tunnel has been turned off.

I'm sorry. My fault. I forgot you were an idiot.

Excuse,