Gay Marriage

What is marriage, more so, what’s a happy marriage? Does it exist? According to a marriage website, “In a happy marriage none of partners feel upset, isolated or alone, even if one of them has to work long hours. They manage to find enough time to spend together, and to pay attention to each other needs.” Yeah Right! We all want this and say we will have perfect marriages but there is always something that upsets the other. Why do we even need to be married? People in our society are so hung up on getting married and having the title, I don’t think they really think about the reality of it sometimes. Don’t get me wrong I wonder when I’m going to fall in love and get married too, but I want to wed when I have the can’t eat, can’t sleep, over the fence, world series kind of love. I also understand when others don’t see or feel the need to be married. It really is just a title with a certificate and the coming together of close friends and family making your relationship public and known. Laurie Essig is one of the people that believe this.

Laurie Essig is a professor at Barnard College and also the author of Queer in Russia. After reading that, I’m sure it’s obvious-Essig is a homosexual. She herself doesn’t want to marry and doesn’t understand why anyone would want to be bound by an institution “founded in historical, material and cultural conditions that ensured women’s oppression.” (622). I understand where she is coming from and I like the fact she is sticking up for what she believes in. She states a very good point when she says marriage is a model for organizing our desires. Why do we have to wed? Why do we need to be recognized and congratulated for being in love and getting married? Can’t straight people and gay people just be happy with one another without a certificate? Essig makes very good points and I think more people should look at marriage the way she does.

When I was in seventh grade, I became an aunt to the most beautiful girl ever. After my brother had his daughter it seemed him and my oldest sister took turns on having kids. She had one after his girl, then he had one, she had another and his last one came just about 5 months ago; it’s finally stopped (for now)! I have five nieces and nephews and I’ve seen everything a parent has to do to take care of and nurture their children. I’ve seen the ups and downs of parenting along the way and through it all I’ve come up with one thing, I’M ADOPTING! Through it all I’ve discovered I’m not fond of anyone younger than one year old and I do not want to go through pregnancy at all! When I adopt I want my child to know they were adopted and if their real parents want to send a card or come visit once in awhile, that’s fine with me, as long as they don’t try to take their kid that they gave away back. I would also let them see their birth records and tell them anything they wanted to know.

Lois Melina is the author of Making Sense of Adoption, Raising Adopted Children, and By a Fraction of a Second. She is also an expert in adoption psychology and politics. She states that more than 60,000 parents in the US will welcome unrelated children into their home. (635). Some will look and act like them, but others will be of different ethnicity or race.(635) Adoption in our generation today, differs much from adoption in past generations. Today adopted children will know their birth parents names and many will grow up and have some form of contact with them. Some children will become very close with their real parents and may form life long relationships with them. I think this could be a good thing and a bad thing. The good thing being that children get to meet their parents and ask questions about their life and such. I see a negative side of this too, what if the child meets his/her birth parents and decide they want to be with them now and the birth parents fight to get them back and win? Then what? I don’t think that’s fair at all, they are the ones that gave them up and now another family has paid money and taken them into their home as their own, and made them who they are. Do they have this right? Adoption has come along way, but I do think there should be restrictions concerning the birth parents and the adopters.

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