Im Not Scared

In 1989, you didn’t have to worry about cell phones, computers nor was there the fear of your plane or train being blown up by a terrorist. It seemed a gentler time compared to the way the world is now. Even so, I learned back then what it meant to be scared and more importantly how to handle my fear.

As I look back to that time, I see now that at seventeen I found my first real friends, people you don’t really understand you need until they become a major part in your life.

1989 was also the year of another kind of friendship. I fell in love for the first time with Becky, the most beautiful girl you could possibly imagine.

1989 was also the year I didn’t have to be scared and lie about where I was going because my parents gave me freedom. They trusted me to do the right thing. I didn’t fully understand that this meant they expected me to make the right choices.

I was getting older and sensed I was leaving my childhood behind. 1989 was also the realization that nothing last’s forever. The only constant is change. People change, things change. Nothing stays the way it was a second ago. To cope with change, I had to change my thinking. In changing my thinking, I became someone else.

Looking back now, my life seemed simple then. I went to school, lived with my family and passed time with my friends and girlfriend, and marked down the days until my 18th birthday, which was less then a month away but at that time felt like an eternity. Little did I know that in the summer of ’89 things would happen that would change me forever.

The person that was once a child living for the moment now became a young man that understood this simple truth: ‘It’s the way you look at life and how you deal with the obstacles it throws your way that makes you the person you are’.

I remember that summer holiday like it was yesterday. Almost everyday I was with Rebekah or ‘’Beck’s’’ as I called her. She was almost 18 like me, had long blonde hair, blue eyes and a shy personality to others, but she seemed to change whenever it was just me and her. She was the first person who I actually never wanted to be apart from, a feeling I seemed to only feel many years later in my life.

Whenever Beck’s and I were apart, Anthony and Johnny were always just around the corner. They were similar to me. We enjoyed the same bands, loved a kick of the footy and were all interested in Astronomy. For some reason as I tell this story up until this day, people find it strange that three average boys could be interested in astrology.

I heard one day that a comet was passing by earth. Being a lover of space I had to go and see it. The guys were eager to go as well and we decided that the best place to go and view it was Marrakech National Park, which meant a camping trip.

We set out on an adventure, somehow making the 45 kilometers to our destination on foot in over a couple of days. We arrived at night, and exhausted by our hike we lay on the ground looking up at the stars. A little later we set up the telescope and took turns watching the comet pass. I was the first to spot it. Being able to see a comet, gazing up at the stars, being independent from your parents and enjoying the moment with your best friends was a feeling I will