Intercultural Marriage

Caroline Hwang made the point in her essay "The Good Daughter" that as a first generation American her parents expected her to marry a Korean man. Hwang decided to only date the non-Korean men which she knew she could "stay clearheaded about” so she could fulfill her parent’s wishes and bear children that looked Korean.

In the essay “Your Place is Empty" by Anne Tyler the decision to marry within cultural boundaries was not made. Hassan (a young doctor who took up practice in America) decided to marry Elizabeth (a very American girl). Hassan’s mother decides to take a trip to America and stay as a house guest. The cultural gap between Mrs. Ardavi and Elizabeth as mother-in-law and daughter-in-law and their interactions seemed to be one of the main points of the essay. Certain beliefs and behaviors separated them all from each other.

The beliefs and behaviors that marked Mrs. Ardavi as a foreigner in America were also on some occasions cause for disagreement. Elizabeth tried to be hospitable to her mother-in-law and Hassan was the middle ground for the two. Some of the differences were easy to dismiss as cultural difference and simply worked around. Yet some of the differences were harder to work around. Some commonalties were found and seemed to become the basis of their relationship.

Some of Mrs. Ardavi’s beliefs were common in Iranian culture but not seen in American culture. Beliefs in medals, prayers, and other superstitions are a part of Mrs. Ardavi’s daily life. Although Elizabeth is coming from an American perspective she seemed to be more understanding. She showed this by allowing her mother-in-law to put tiny “medals” on Hilary, including a tiny disc “inscribed with the name of Allah” and “a tiny gold Koran, with a very effective prayer for long life folded up within it.” Elizabeth also conspired with Mrs. Ardavi to hide a miniature Koran inside the glove compartment of Hassan’s car. Even though the cultural difference was a factor this seems to show that there are certain commonalities in their personalities and beliefs between most cultures.

In Mrs. Ardavi's beliefs there is such a thing as clean and unclean. As a simple example bacon is an unclean food in the Muslim religion. Though she was not allowed to eat it Mrs. Ardavi was still curious about the taste of bacon. Mrs. Ardavi separated herself from Elizabeth in the clean and unclean category. Since Elizabeth is a Christian girl she is considered unclean. This caused minor difficulties while doing laundry. Mrs. Ardavi had to used a special rack which she ran under water in the shower (because Elizabeth assembled it) to do her laundry.

Hilary is another matter altogether. Hilary is only three years old and doesn’t understand why her grandmother acts so differently. At most times she doesn’t even seem to care. Though she is not Muslim or full blooded Iranian Mrs. Ardavi still had no problem treating Hilary as if she was Iranian and a part of the family. Hilary seemed to be the largest commonality between the women. The scene in which Hilary seemed to bring the women closer the most is when Mrs. Ardavi first arrives and asks to see her. The smells “of milk and rubber, and talcum powder, smells she would know anywhere. Even in the half-light from the hallway, she could tell that Hilary was beautiful. She had black, tumbling hair, long black lashes, and a skin of a tone they called wheat-colored, lighter than Hassan’s.” In this part Mrs. Ardavi shows that Hilary is not part of any real category yet, not Christian or Muslim so she may be considered an innocent still. The issue