Psychological Insights into Parenting Styles

Would you have come out different if your parents used a different parenting style? If you are considered “cool” now could you have come out a nerd if your parents would have used a different parenting style? “Parenting style is one of the primary determinants of your child’s outcome whether he succeeds, achieves, meets the challenges, flounders, gives up, or runs from or fails in handling life.” (6) The purpose of this paper is to describe the outcomes, processes, labor, and techniques of parenting in a psychological point of view. Parenting styles are defined as the “manner in which parents express their beliefs on how to be a good or bad parent.” (4) Each parenting style has its weaknesses and strengths. All parents incorporate love and limit in their style of parenting. There are four different types of parenting styles: authoritarian, permissive, democratic, and uninvolved parents.

The first type of parenting style is called authoritarian. In this parenting style the parents are the boss. They make strict rules and they enforce them. They focus more on restrictions than a loving relationship with their child. They believe it is their job as parents to catch their children being bad and punish them. These parents use external control on their children instead of taking time to tell the kid what they did wrong and why they should not do it again. Something these parents do not realize is that they do not catch their kids being good. Authoritarian parents are firm and unsympathetic. Authoritarian parents love to use discipline.

An example can be if Timmy decides he wants to go to a party on Friday. His parents tell him he has to be back by 9:00 pm. He gets angry and decides to come back home at 11:00 pm. When he gets home his parents punish him by beating him with a stick. They do not explain to him why they are hitting him or they do not take the time to ask why he has arrived home late. As a result to this form of discipline the children usually react quickly and do not make an attempt to negotiate with their parents in fear that they will receive more discipline. The outcome of this type of parenting style is that the child usually becomes unfriendly, anxious, distrusted, and withdrawn. Most of them also have a low self-esteem. A positive outcome is that the child becomes academically successful because the parents are so demanding.

A great example of a permissive parent is how Mrs. Star treats her 8th period class. Permissive parents allow complete freedom to their children and there is very little discipline visible. Permissive parenting was “Popular in the 1950’s and 1960’s” because of all the troubles going on during WWII. (5) They like to tell their kids “One more time…” whenever the kids do something bad. An example can be if Timmy asks his parents if he can go to a party. They tell him he has to be home by 10pm. Then his parents tell him the limit is 10pm. Then he suggests 12pm and because they do not want Timmy to be angry with them they let him do whatever he wants. Permissive parents have a fear that their kids will not like them. Unlike authoritarian parents, permissive parents make rules but they never enforce the rules. The children in this parenting style are usually immature, dependant, aggressive, and unhappy. They do not do well academically because of their inability to regulate to the school rules.

Now we come to the democratic parenting style. This is the best parenting style when it comes to raising a child in a healthy environment. Democratic parents make rules but they are flexible with their rules depending on the different situations. Democratic parents also have more open and honest relationships with their children. They allow their children more of a chance to take responsibility and learn from their mistakes.

One thing you should remember when you are raising a child is that your child should not be afraid of you. When your children do something that you do not believe is right, talk with them firmly, but at the same time try to understand what they are saying. Timmy once again is going to a party but his parents tell him he has to be home by 10pm. Timmy suggests that he should come home at 11 pm. His parents try to please him but come close to their original plan by letting him come home at 10:30. Lets say if Timmy comes home at 12am.

Authoritarian parents will not only depend on discipline. They will explain to the child what he has done wrong, and then they will give the child a reasonable punishment. This is the hardest of the parenting styles because you have to spend more time on your child. Unlike just taking the easy way and letting do whatever they want like permissive parents or punishing them for everything they do without even explaining why you are punishing them. Children of democratic parents usually come out to be “friendly, self-reliant, and socially responsible.” (1)

Uninvolved