Verbal Communication and Me

Verbal Communication and Me

Communication is an essential tool used by both humans and animals. Humans communicate by using words and gestures, and animals communicate by touch and non-language sound. In this writing I will address the verbal communication goal of “owning your feelings and thoughts.”

The communication goal “Own your feelings and thoughts” deals with taking responsibility for yourself by using language that owns your thoughts and feelings. Taking responsibility for your feelings involves deal with using “I” language instead of “you” language. I chose this goal because I often find myself using “you” language whenever I am involved in some kind of conflict or “heated” discussion.

In order to help myself achieve this goal I have decided to employ two communication strategies in order to help me achieve my communication goal skill. One is to censor myself by rephrasing what I say whenever I use “you” language. For example if I am in a discussion with an individual and I use “you” language, at the moment when I use this language I will convert it into “I” language. My second strategy involves me monitoring how I feel when others use “you” language about me.

In order to practice my communication strategies, I will plan a communication event involving me and my girlfriend. In this comm. event I will apply my communication strategies towards a conflict that occurs between me and my girlfriend. I recently tested out this communication goal when me and my

girlfriend, Ikeina, was having a conflict related discussion about my recent behavior. I noticed that when I began to get upset about her accusations of me supposedly putting my “friends and work over her,” I began to use “you” language. For example I remember saying, “You need to understand that I have a life outside of our relationship.” After realizing that I just violated my communication goal, I quickly corrected myself by rephrasing my statement in the “I” format. I then said the following, “I would appreciate it if you would understand that I have a life outside of our relationship.” Even though she did not recognize my rephrasing of my language, I realized that