Are You the one for Me?

“Are You the One For Me”

Are you the One For Me was written by Barbara DeAnglis, Ph.D help people choose the right person to love and spend the rest of their life with. She discusses how most people are in love with the wrong person and do know it for days, months or even years. Many reason people do this because their love IQ is low. Your love IQ is based on how much you about creating and maintaining a healthy relationship. So therefore if you have a low love IQ then you will choose a bad partner to love. Another reason some people choose the wrong person to be with is because they believe the Five Deadly Myths About Love that are created in our minds from watching television and movie, reading romantic novels, and never being taught about love. These myths are (1.)True love conquers all, (2.) When it’s really true love, you will know it the moment you meet the other person, (3.)There is only one true love in the world who is right for you, (4.) The perfect partner will fulfill you completely in every way, and (5.) When you experience powerful sexual chemistry with someone, it must be love. Understanding your emotional program and what you really want in a relationship or partner is very important to picking the perfect mate. DeAnglis suggest making list of all the partners you were emotionally involved and writing down the qualities you like about them and the qualities that repeated were the qualities you really wanted in a relationship. There are many reasons to be in relationship. However there are seven reasons not to be including (1.)Pressure (Age pressure is the biggest types of pressure one may face in getting into a relationship, for example if you are over thirty and unmarried many family and friend may trying to get you to married therefore you fall into a relationship where you may not be happy because you are settling because of your age.), (2.)Loneliness and depression (Being alone may also make you choose the wrong lover.), (3.) Sexual Hunger, (4.)Distraction from your own life (many use a relationship to avoid making a hard decision in life), (5.) To avoid growing up, (6.) Guilt ( Not wanting to hurt the other person’s feeling may be a reason on enters into an unwanted relationship) and (7.) To fill up your emotional or spiritual emptiness.

After going over reasons that we choose the wrong people to love DeAnglis goes into the six biggest mistakes we make in the beginning of a relationship. These reasons are: (1.) We don’t ask enough questions (We usually don’t ask enough questions because it’s not romantic, we don’t want to know the answers, and you don’t want to answer these questions in return), (2.)We ignore warning signs of potential problem, (3.) We make Premature Compromises (“The danger in a premature compromise is that you lose your sense of self early in the relationship and create a false sense of harmony between you and you mate”(p. 110)), (4.) We give in to lust blindness, (5.)We give into Material Seduction