Real Boys

“Real Boys”

By: Christopher Booth

When The Bough Breaks

Part 3

Outline

What this section of the book is trying to address here I think, is the need for people, (parents especially) to be aware of signs of depression in young males. The first chapter in this section goes through different scenarios and real life stories of boys that have had depression, and have been afraid to talk about it, or even didn’t really even know that was what they were suffering from. As William Pollack describes his sessions with his different clients, we find that really, boys can be at times scared, afraid, and very often ashamed of communicating their feelings with others. Mainly because the “Boy Code” does not allow this.

Also part of this section deals with violence in young males. The need to fight back and be tough and how it is inbred in to the hearts of the youth today. How the image of today’s society is all about revenge and fighting. “To be a man you need to know how to fight back”. The Hollywood actors and how you are constantly bombarded with fighting and revenge. A good illustration is of the classic John Wayne scene of him riding off to seek revenge on the bad guy. This all contributes to young boys and how they view situations, or should I say handle situations.

What I learned about my history

Wow, what can I say? Not only has just this chapter changed how I view my upbringing and past but the whole book has. I can see how the “Boy Code” played a big role in my childhood. Even now as a young adult I can still see things that control the way I think and see things. When I was reading about some of the boys and their interviews with William Pollack, I remember thinking, “that’s exactly what I went through at school. (When I went to public school) I remember being told many a time by my parents (and among others) to “be a man” or “not to be a sissy”. I don’t think my parents were not well meaning, I just think it was how they were raised and just like a vicious cycle, they probably were taught the boy code too. I distinctly remember my Dad teaching me as a young child to learn how to fight. Telling me that kids will try and fight with me and the only way was to know how to defend yourself. “don’t let anyone push you around” he would tell me.

I don’t remember ever being really depressed, but I do remember keeping a lot of things to myself. Being afraid to show my emotions. Being the oldest meant a lot of responsibly, and that meant growing up a lot faster than the rest of my other siblings.

How the boy code has effected me then and now.

The way the “Boy Code” effected me when I was younger was more “self infliction.” I took a lot of things on upon myself and just as it were “suffered in silence”. Not that my childhood was some sort of miserable upbringing, it’s just that I felt being he eldest meant setting an example. Everything was always OK. (I find myself saying that even now days)