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Paul Jennings

October 27, 2005

My Rules

Certain things have guidelines, or rules. A board game such as monopoly for example has rules. The game of football has rules, as does other sports, like baseball soccer, rugby etc.

If a person follows these rules, they will be able to succeed because if they don't they can lose, for cheating, which results in failure. Even life itself can have rules. There are certain rules though, that at times must be followed. In my eyes, there are three of these rules. Rule number one: Life is tough, and at times will be unfair. Rule number two: You cannot change rule number one. Rule number three: how you deal with number two will shape you as a person and determine your actions. These are three rules that are becoming very familiar to me, especially now that my dad has cancer.

A big change is coming upon me as a student. I am growing up and my high school years are coming to an end. The familiar faces, and surroundings are soon going to be left behind. I start to plan out my life and what I will make of it. This is a lot

to deal with for a child, including much stress and anxiety. Especially when a student such, as myself, has not fulfilled his potentional. My number one priority is to do well in school and make my parents proud. I have let them down in the past with average grades and even less the average grades. This puts a detour in my path because I did not perform good enough my junior year. I want to make my Father, more then anything, proud of me, and also show him I am responsible. I need to show him that I can overcome that challenge. It is imperative to show him now considering my dad himself is facing a challenge, the fight against cancer. This is where rule number one comes into play.

It was a Friday night and I had just come home from a friend's house. I came home to check in with my parents, and to see how my dad's doctors appointment went; he had been sick for awhile. I walked into the living room. I saw my mom on the couch watching tv, with my dad wrapped up like a little kid in a blanket on the couch. I asked (thinking in my head, ok my dad is fine its just the flu) how did the appointment go. My dad replied with "ehh so, so." I froze, and said, "what do you mean by so, so." My mom and dad both the slowly explained to me what was wrong with him, and how he had cancer on his esophagus, and possibly his liver. They explained how it would be a hard battle and a long process. I sat down on the chair, with my heart in my stomach. An empty feeling suddenly came inside me. There were no tears. I only felt anger, confusion and hate. I slowly rose to my feet, getting ready to go back out, to get away from the unknown, and the disease in my house. I gave my mom a hug and kiss before I left. I usually just say bye to my dad when I leave the house. This time was different. I went over to him, and I gave him a huge hug. I held him tight and said "I love you Dad." The tears rolled down my face, as did some trickle down from his eyes. A father and a son both were shedding a tear together. "We'll get through this," he says, "it will be ok." For that moment, I was a little kid again. Dad said it will be ok, so he must be right, dad knows everything. I let go and walked out the door. Like fresh rain dripping of a leaf, tears still slowly dripped off my eyes. I was on my way to my best friends house to hang out, and try to forget what I had just been told. Over and over, it

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