Domestic Violence

Domestic violence. The first vision that crosses most minds is the quick thrust of a husbands hand across the sacred face of his wife. All to well it is an everyday event happening in nearly one third of family's homes. And what are the most common responses to this heinous, cowardly act? It would be thought to be viewed as an act deserving the penalty of death. But rather the reasoning behind most are such expressions as, "she deserved it," or "she needs to be kept in line" (DVD, 1). Some experts say women are more likely to be killed by their male partners than by all other perpetrators combined (Awake, 5). This expose will scratch the surface as to what domestic violence is and why men do it, why women tend to stay in the abusive relationship, and the consequences of staying as well as ways to prevent it from going on or stopping it. The true textbook definition of domestic violence is stated as outrage belonging to the home. Anyway it's viewed, domestic violence is neither warranted nor wanted. Clearly stated in the bible in Ephesians 5:28, "Husbands ought to be loving their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself." Many theories have been derived as to why men batter women. They include: family dysfunction, inadequate communication skills, provocation by women, stress, chemical dependency, and economic hardship (DVD, 1). The ironic part to it all is that batters come from all groups, backgrounds, and personality traits (DVD, 1). Up until recently domestic Harrison 2 violence has not been treated as a real crime (DVD, 1). In a study conducted in January of 2001 it showed the worst the case of domestic violence on record. The batterer was sentenced to right years in prison after pleading guilty to twenty-one counts of domestic violence towards his wife, eight of which planted her in critical condition in the hospital. The batterer begins and continues his behavior because violence is an effective method for gaining and keeping control over another person and usually doesn't suffer the consequences (DVD, 1). Although no punishment may be rendered for their actions, there are five characteristics of a batterer to be aware of to help prevent it from happening to women. They are, (1) A batterer objectifies a woman. He doesn't see her as a woman, (2) A batterer has low self- esteem and feels powerless in the world, (3) A batterer externalizes the causes of his behavior as such things as stress, his partner's behavior, or alcohol, (4) A batterer may be pleasant and charming between periods of violence and seen as a nice guy, and (5) Warning signs are extreme jealousy, possessiveness, bad temper, unpredictability, cruelty to animals, and verbal abusiveness (DVD, 1). Taking to heart all listed can protect violence from being initiated.

But the question burning inside us all is why do the women stay. It seems as simple as just packing up and walking out right? It is much more to it than meets the eye. Victims are usually put to blame for the domestic violence. They hear that they need or deserve such treatment (NCADV, 1). The truth is that no one enjoys being beaten, no matter what their emotional state or self image (NCADV, 1). Stephan Cain, a professor at Yale University, said there are five reasons a woman doesn't immediately leave the battering. They are, (1) She realistically fears that the batterer will become more violent and maybe even fatal if she attempts to leave, (2) Her friends and family may not support Harrison 3 her leaving, (3) She knows the difficulties of single parenting in financial circumstances, (4) There is a mix of good times, love and hope along with the manipulation, intimidation, and fear, and (5) She may not know about or have access to safety and support. Thus they stay confined in a hell hole known only to them as their life.

Not only is staying in the relationships unhealthy it can bear many consequences. It is said that being in abusive relationship can be passed onto offspring and lead them to do the same actions as their father. Statistics show 960f all men who are abusive to their wives were in abusive families themselves as kids (Awake 5). The mental games played can also have an extremely larger effect on people than physical violence. The husbands make the women believe they are worthless and are incapable of finding someone else. Coupled with the mental abuse is the physical abuse. The constant beating leaves the female body ravaged and bruised. The scars look as if the woman had been through a battle for her life but in reality she just went through another day. Help for abuse is not out of the question. To prevent or stop the abuse one has to understand what they are going through. They have to admit and realize this isn't how life is supposed to be. After facing the realization the next step is getting out of the situation. There are shelters for battered women all