The Healthy Transition from Adolescent to Adulthood. "where Are You Going, Where Have You Been?"

Many adolescents struggle with the transition from teen-age years to adulthood. Questions are raised on careers, friends, school and family. “How do I know I made the right decision?” “What career do I wish to pursue?” “Why is this change so difficult?” Some, at times, even wish that they had an influence or guide to help them. For many, this is where the parents step in. Parents are meant to support and help an adolescent when needed, especially during this difficult transition. However, this is not always the case. Some parents allow the adolescent to make the move alone and endure the hard times. But, in the end, what are missing are the values and morals needed to survive on the real world. A good relationship with parents makes adolescents’ transition into adulthood easier and instills family morals and values that will prevent he or she from becoming blind to the real world and possible tragedies to follow.

A good relationship with parents is necessary to make the transition from adolescence to adulthood easier. Young adolescents have to make important decisions that affect the entire life course (Muuss 5). The decisions can be difficult, but with a parent’s help, things can run more smoothly. In Joyce Oates’ “Where are you going, Where have you been?” Connie experiences not having an active mother or father in her life. As a result, she takes her life into her own hands and makes decisions based on how she feels. For example, Connie has a different personality when she is at home than when she is with her friend(s) (Oates 496). This change can be a result of her parents not taking part in discipline or teaching her correct morals. It is suggested that children and adolescents learn their values from adults and/or their parents rather than being self-taught (Damon 170). With the correct parenting and also cooperation on the adolescents’ part, the difficult transition into adulthood can be enjoyable and easier. “Adolescents not only want parents, they really need them (Duvall 325).

If an adolescents’ parent really does care for them, they will do all that is needed to be involved. Parents can help their teenagers through his and her own experiences and become more understanding of who they are (Duvall 324). Connie does not have this opportunity for the lack of communication with her parents. Her mother envies her and her father is not an active figure in her life. Connie’s relationship with her mother is not an ideal relationship between a mother and her child. For some, the time together has its hard moments but overall, it is a good relationship. On the other hand, the relationship Connie and her mother experience is a relationship where the mother and child have a difficult time getting along on a regular basis. Mothers of some adolescents feel that teen the teen is selfish, rebellious, argumentative and lazy. On the other side, adolescents (mostly in girls) wish their mother would be more understanding and be more patient with them (Gesell, Ilg, Ames 394). In Connie’s case, there were times she wised her mother and she were dead and everything was all over (Oates 496). There is no cooperation on either part to talk about the changes being made and help needed. Not only is Connie’s mother a problem to her, so is her father. He takes a backseat in her life due to his frequent absences. He is not active and fills his time with work and when at home, he eats and goes directly to bed (Oates 496). David Blackenhorn worries that fathers’ role in the family has shrunk dramatically over the past generations. He also fears that the idea of fatherhood is being lost (qtd. in Vail 210). Parents need the love and respect of their adolescent to show them that they have successfully accomplished rearing their child (Duvall 325). There should be a mutual respect for each other other’s point-of- view and concern for each other’s well being (324). If there is good parent involvement, the adolescent will be more apt to wisely make the transition from adolescence to adulthood and to detect dangers in the world.

At anytime there is no parental involvement, an adolescent is prone to run into trouble. Connie does not have parental involvement or any known values or morals. Therefore she is more prone to be open to any form of pop-culture presented to her. Recent evidence shows that many adolescents have serious problems with drugs, alcohol, sex and crime and these problems are partly the result of a stressful or at times, non-existent parent-adolescent relations (Muuss 132). Many adolescents are unaware of the importance of parental involvement and see it as parents only trying to run their life. However, like Connie, those who lack the involvement, are empty of morals and values and have no backbone to defend them against trouble.

Once the adolescent has been taught individual family morals and values,