Fake Geek Girls

Comic book stores are a man’s world. The universe of grown men wearing tights, running around saving damsels in distress is No Place For Women. Honestly, if you’re a girl, you’d better study up if you’re thinking about entering a comic store. Prepare for the inevitable Interrogation.

Don't you know what interrogation I’m talking about? No? You must be new — every female comic book fan will know what I’m talking about. If you even so much as wear a tee shirt with the logo of your favorite superhero team, you better be ready for some fedora-clad, greasy-haired, mid-20’s resident-of-his-mom’s-basement to fire question after question at you to test your knowledge of the entire fictional universe. Don’t believe me? Try it yourself. But beware — if you get a single question wrong, you’ll be cast off as a “Fake Geek Girl” who only likes the movies for the hot actors and is thirsty for comic book geeks. (Come on, guys, are you really that desperate for a girl to like you?) I mean, it’s not like a woman could possibly be interested in, you know, the actual story. Women only like romance movies. (Have you ever noticed how most superhero movies these days have completely unnecessary romantic subplots? Yeah, that’s the producers trying to reach for a female audience. It’s not like 65% of the people who went to see Avengers opening night were girls or anything. That’s completely ridiculous.)

So let’s say you passed the troll bridge and have now entered the shelves upon shelves of comic books and action figures. What kind of story are you looking for, again? A superheroine who wears practical clothing and doesn’t depend on her super-buff male co-protagonist